Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow!

*I want to just put something out there before I go into this blog. Martin and I tried for seven months to get pregnant. During that time I was pretty emotional and weepy when each time I would take a pregnancy test and it would come back negative. Each time I knew I wasn't pregnant AGAIN, I was upset and found it really hard to read/hear stories of other people's baby-making success. I was REALLY happy for them, it was just hard on me because I felt like I was being left out of the baby loop! So, I'm being honest with my readers. If you have been trying and things aren't working out, it's okay with me if you are a little annoyed with me right now. I do want to celebrate, but I don't want to upset anyone. So, I'm acknowledging the feelings that I had, in hopes that, if you are reading this and you feel the deep pit in your stomach sink in a bit more, I want you to know I understand. Also, I'm taking this blog to a new level and it may be too much information for some. I'm not modest (never have been) but I'm just warning folks who may be because I plan to go into the details of being pregnant in the next nine months! So be prepared! : )

I'm Pregnant! (Five Weeks, or 4 Weeks +3 Days)

Wooo Hooo! It's been seven long months of trying, and one dose of Femara (a breast Cancer drug that is also good for PCOS and jump-starting ovulation) and the test read yes! So, now we start the journey of pregnancy. And, I want to at least blog about it once a month so I can journal this important and exciting time. I had a couple of friends who blogged through their pregnancies and they were great, so I hope that my posts can live up to theirs.

The Background Story

So, what's first? I guess the story. I had been charting and watching very closely my cycle for the last few months, and things were not adding up the way the should. So, I called my doctor and got an appointment on Aug. 12. He talked to me for a bit, and at first wanted me to keep trying for a year, but once I showed him my charts and had proof that things were not happening the way they should, he reconsidered. I am forever thankful to Cara for teaching me how to chart, it saved me six months of waiting! So, anyway, we discussed it and he decided that I needed a "jump-start." So, at the beginning of my next cycle I started the Femara. I have to tell you it was tough! I only had to take the pill for five days, but it did make me very emotional and moody. However, after the five days were over I was fine. So, the month progressed and we hoped and prayed that this would be it.

Taking the Test

I first starting testing on day 8 after ovulation, they tell you to wait until 10, but since my cycles had been short, I thought I might get lucky. I didn't. It was negative. Day 10 came and I tested again, and it was negative as well. So, I did what any other normal woman would do. I gave up! However, I didn't feel that great all day of Day 10, and people around me were noticing that I was very short of breath! I also spotted a bit, so I was convinced that I was just going to start soon, and that this round of Femara had not worked. So, Day 11 I woke up and decided, Why not?, I'll take the test again today (since I had stopped spotting) and if it's negative then I'll know I was about to start. Besides, I sort of think it's fun to pee on a stick. I know, I'm crazy, but I think it goes back to when I was in Chemistry and we could dip those little sticks in different liquids to see what color they were and how acidic they were ... I loved to watch them change colors, same principal, I guess it's just weirder because we never stuck those in pee. ANYWAY, so I took the test and then went about my morning. I'm not one for counting down the minutes on the clock. So, I took Sawyer out for his morning walk, I made a little breakfast, I lazed around for a few minutes, and I'm pretty sure at one point I said OUT LOUD, to myself, "There is no way that test is going to be positive." That was right before I walked into the bathroom and saw the word "pregnant" on the screen.

Telling Martin

I did a horrible job of telling Martin. I always had dreams of thinking of something creative and cute. Maybe I'd write some long love-letter about how we had made this precious thing together, or get him a T-shirt that said "World's Greatest Dad." What did I do instead? Run into the other bathroom where he was showering and yell, "I was wrong, I'm pregnant." Which I got in response, "HUH?" Then I proceed to repeat myself, pull yesterday's "Not Pregnant" stick out of the trash and show him the difference between the two (as if just seeing the "pregnant" was not enough, I know CRAZY), while the poor man is still trying to shower. Yeah, I could have done that better. The worst part too, was that he had no time to really digest it because he was getting ready for work and was working on a HUGE project, so in hindsight, I wish I had told him differently, but hey, at least he knows! And, now he is super excited and happy, so it worked out okay in the end. As for everyone else, I, of course, called my Mom and my sisters (Oddly enough, my little sister Becky found out she was pregnant the day before I did, so we have the same approximate due date). I called closest friends and told them the news and then decided later that night to just put it on Facebook so that we could share with everyone. I know it's still early, but I've never been one to live in fear so I'm not too worried about anything happening.

What's next?

So, I've been to the doctor twice. Once for blood work and once for a question and answer session. I really like my doctor and he's very open with me, which I appreciate. We have an ultrasound date for 10/12, which was the earliest possible date we could do one and see the baby. The doctor wants to watch me closely and make sure everything is going smoothly, but he seems to be very confidant that things will be fine. I can already tell a HUGH difference in my body. It's so weird! So far I've had shortness of breath, tender breasts, I need to pee quite a bit, sore back, and I'm hungry about every 4-5 hours. I haven't gotten sick yet, so I'm happy for that. One big thing I've noticed is how my body is already changing quite a bit. One big problem is that I can't "suck" in my gut anymore. It hurts to do so. So, I look like I'm six months pregnant when I'm really just one! I used to make fun of little skinny girls going out and buying maternity clothes so early, but now I understand. Nothing really does fit! I already can't wear my black work slacks because they button above the tummy, and it ain't happening! UGH! It's okay, I don't mind the weight gain (Doc says at least 30 lbs) but I just don't want to have to buy a lot of new clothes! The only other thing that I am worried about it doing a six mile run in a few weeks, well, make that walk. My doctor made me buy a heart monitor and HIGHLY suggested the I walk briskly and not run the race. I hope the short bus doesn't pick me up, this is the last year for 'The Race for the Taste' at Disney World and I REALLY want that medal!

So, that's about it. The best part is the day that we found out we realized was the same day that Martin started his job here in Florida and when we got the house ... so there is something special about September. I guess that why God blessed me with seeing a rainbow on the way home on the day we found out (photo above). It was like a special message just to me that said, "See, I was paying attention, all those rainbows before were a promise, and here is another promise to you!" I have been truly blessed, it was not an easy road to get here, but here's to an easy journey here on out full of fun and happiness for Martin, me, and the future baby Downey!

The Weekend is my Enemy

I've been on the wagon now for two weeks. That's right, I'm in a 12-step program ... for food. I'm back on Weight Watchers again after a short break from the "dieting" scene. Back in June, I decided that I wasn't going to worry too much about my weight. I figured, hey, I'm going to be pregnant soon, so no need to be watching my weight. I thought that I could just blame any weight gain on my baby bump, and not my eating habits.

Guess what happens when you take on this mindset and don't get pregnant? You gain 15 pounds. That's right, 15. I already weighed more than I would like, but I didn't figure I would gain that much, especially since I was going to be all fat and pregnant. Well, thanks to my overactive cycle and under-active metabolism I am neither pregnant nor skinny. I am now 45 pounds overweight.

So, once I realized that this baby thing wasn't going to go the way I wanted, I decided I better at least get these extra 15 pounds off before 200 starts staring at me from the scale. So, I've changed my habits yet again. I am dedicated to exercising at least 20 minutes a day for five days a week, eating within my weight watchers points, and taking care of myself by writing, reading, and relaxing in my down-time. All of this can tend to be a bit difficult with a busy work schedule, but I'm at the point where I'm over it. And that's usually the point where I become the most successful.

It's interesting that other things in my life seem to go so well for me. Career wise I'm right where I want to be (tomorrow marks one year at my AMAZING job, and it came with a new title and promotion, Deputy Director), I enjoy freelance writing for the Florida UMC conference, and ordination is moving at a steady pace. Marriage wise I couldn't be more blessed. My husband is caring, supportive, and loving, I'm lucky to have him. But, with all the good things, I just can't seem to get "healthy" with myself. I find that the weekends are my worst enemy. All week I count points and do really well, but when Friday night gets here, I loose the obsession and eat whatever I like. This attitude continues on Saturday and by Sunday I am disgusted with myself. Lucky for me I didn't give up last week when I fell in the weekend trap (I lost 3 lbs) and I was able to get back on track this week (weigh day is tomorrow). But, I would do so much better on my weight loss and exercise if I wouldn't let Friday and Saturday get in my way.

So, my goal this week is to be READY for Friday. I will write down everything I put into my body over the weekend, I know I can do this because I do it all week. I will continue my morning prayer and Bible time, I will continue exercising and I hope to do a practice 10k this weekend.

I'm back on the wagon ... let's hope I don't fall of. If I do, just go ahead and let it run over me please.

Looking for Rainbows ... Part II

Today is my birthday. As of 7:45 p.m. (or so) I turned the ripe old age of 27.

When I was 21 I made a list of things I wanted to achieve by the time I was 30. I don't remember all of it (it's in a book that Whitney currently has custody of), but I know there were things in there like lose weight, start a magazine, have a baby and go to Europe.

I'm 27 and have yet to do any of those things, and I still want to. But, there are other things that have gotten in the way, new goals that I have been working on and seeing some good results. I would have never thought at 21 that I was going to be ordained or so passionate about helping those in need in the community. There are things in my life I am VERY proud of, and for that I am know I am blessed. But, with those great things there are disappointments.

I debated if I was going to blog about what I have been going through lately, because it is deeply personal. But, if what I have to say will help someone else feel better then it's worth putting myself out there. One of my goals before I was 30 was/is to have a baby, and it's one that is proving to be a little more difficult than I would have hoped. Martin and I decided back in April that we were ready to start a family, but our timing doesn't seem to be working with my body's timing. It's to the point now where I have made a doctor's appointment to see if everything is "all right." I have some ideas about what is going on, and honestly I blame 10 years of birth control for the problem. But, even when you do have a scapegoat, you still can't help but be upset with yourself, and disappointed. I have several friends who are pregnant right now (and congrats to all of them), and it's really hard trying to figure out why they have seemed to get pregnant so easy, and for me it seems to be more of a challenge. It's frustrating, and I know I am not alone in this. I know there are thousands of women who are going through what I am going through, and really, it's only been four months. It may be that there simply hasn't been enough time, but it's still REALLY hard.

Martin has been amazing in all of this. He loves me, and he has been supportive in everything. Even when I spent a whole day crying this week, even when I seem like I am going crazy. I'm very lucky to have such a loving and understanding husband.

Today I turned 27, and when I walked outside from dinner I saw the widest, brightest rainbow shinning over my world. I have to remember the promise of a few months ago, that God reminded me. God is with me, there is a plan, and I'm part of it. I just have to keep looking for rainbows.

Celebrate my Birthday!!

Donate in my honor!

Looking for Rainbows

I woke up a bit early this morning, which hardly ever happens for me. Usually by Sunday I am so tired that I can't even move, yet alone get up by 6 a.m., but this morning when Sawyer (who has since fallen back asleep) woke me up for his usually bathroom/morning meal routine, I didn't feel like going back to bed, so I'm enjoying a little time to myself this morning to relax and reflect.


Updates

I've done really well this week on my being more positive plan. I've set aside time each night for devotional, and have actually stuck to it. Now, it's not more than 20-30 minutes worth of time, but it's amazing how just a few extra minutes each day spent in prayer and reflection seems to get me back centered and at peace. However, it was a pretty rough week for me and I think if I hadn't of planned to have that time, I would have been a lot more stressed. I am liking having a domain name for the blog, but for some reason if you go directly to the link the whole page doesn't load, I'm not sure why, and I'm hoping this will work itself out in the future.


Looking for Rainbows

This week brought a few hard memories for me when I found out that one of my niece's friends had been killed in a car accident. When I was about her age I had a dear friend pass on and the memory broke my heart, and just knowing what she was going through made it even harder to swallow. It's always funny how God speaks right when I need him to. I was driving to work after hearing the news, reflecting on death, life, resurrection, all the things that I believe to my core, and honestly I wasn't thinking, "God why?" but more along the lines of, "Is your promise really possible?," Boy, I've found when you ask a question like that you get an answer you will never believe. As I was thinking and praying about past circumstances and a few current circumstances (especially those involving work), I saw just a glimmer of a rainbow in the distance. Rainbows to me are a clear reminder of God's presence with his people. It was the sign of the covenant that he would always be with us in the OT, and it is a continued sign to me that God keeps all his promises. Honestly, that small sign was all I needed, I was already feeling connected and close, but God apparently thought I needed more reassurance. Immediately after I saw the small rainbow I noticed that I had an e-mail on my phone. A co-worker had taken a photograph at work and he thought I would like it:

As someone on my Facebook said, "What a promise!" What a promise indeed. With an full arched rainbow over the place where I spend most of my time, it was God reminding me of his ways, his plans, and ultimately his promises, for me and for mankind. "As colorful as a rainbow that appears after a storm. I realized I was seeing the brightness of the LORD's glory, " Ezekiel 1:28.

God's glory is constantly around us, and he has promised to never forget us or forsake us. The rainbow says to me, through the trails, through the pain, there can be peace, love, grace. The rainbow is, for me, God's ultimate sign of grace. I am so thankful for all the gifts that God has already poured out over my life, every sweet morning with my husband, every milestone that happens in my career, it is not me who deserves the credit, but God and his ultimate grace!

I look forward to more of God's promises in my future, and I know that by believing with faith like a child I will see the truth of God's promise TODAY.

Seven Tornadoes

So, the blog has gotten a little makeover, and it's going in a new direction. Martin has officially given me permission to use this blog as my own personal creative outlet. I'm sure there will still be plenty of family updates, but that will not be the sole purpose of the blog. I've also registered the domain for this blog, so soon you can visit www.seventornadoes.com, and will get right to my blog (and for you Google Readers out there, take a moment and stop by and see how pretty the page looks!)

But, why the name Seven Tornadoes? It goes back to my high school senior newspaper, and class predictions. I wish I had the actual copy (Whitney, you have it somewhere I'm sure) but the gist of it was that I wasn't going to amount to much of anything ... I think it was probably a joke, and I took it lightly, but as a good friend says, there is truth in every joke. However, I knew myself better than anyone else, and I feel like I have been successful, but life is crazy and there are times when I feel like tornadoes are ripping through! That's what this blog is for, to give you the blow-by-blow!

Seven Tornadoes:
Seven Tornadoes, the amount that my high school classmates predicted to sweep through the trailer park where I was supposedly going to end up with my seven children. What happened instead was I became a major overachiever, live in an actual house, and don't even have kids at the ripe old age of 26. It was all in fun and games, but there was always this underlying idea that I would just get married and settle down in Arkansas. However, I instead am a career woman, happily married to my soulmate and living in Florida. This blog is a collection of my journalist work, my personal musings, religious ramblings, and a little fun and games of my own in-between! My life is a whirlwind, I guess I couldn't keep all the tornadoes away!

Inspired!

So, I haven't been in my "groove" for a while. You might have noticed since there have been fewer and fewer posts on our family blog (which, because Martin never gets on here, is really my blog) and the fact that poor Zoe and Sofya has gone to the wayside (though, feel free to blame Whitney on that one too, she hasn't blogged for months, that's right CALLING YOU OUT! :) However, be looking for a post on Zoe sometime today too! The song says, "Groove is in the Heart," and I really believe that's true. If your heart isn't in it, then it's not going to be as good without it!

So, a few updates on life and then some inspiring thoughts for a Sunday morning.

Updates:
Martin and I have officially changed churches. We had been thinking about this move for a while, it really isn't a reflection of our last church, just for me working through ordination, and Martin looking for a place that he really fit, we thought it would be better if we found a church that we could get behind and support, and one that was reaching outward instead of inward. So, we have started going to church at Community of Faith UMC. It's a drive for us, but we don't really mind that. They have a Saturday night service that we enjoy going to and then we take the rest of the night for "date night." We go to dinner or watch a movie after worship and it is the best feeling. The other great thing is that we get our Sundays to really be a a "Sabbath" time. This is really important to me because when I was working in the church Sunday was crazy busy and I never got a chance to really sit down and enjoy the world God has given us. COF is really servant driven, and they have been very supportive of HOME, so that's always a plus to have my workplace and my place of worship working together to serve all God's children. One thing I really like about them is that they are very "Wesleyan," they state that faith is a journey, not a destination, and I really believe that. We don't just stop once we proclaim our faith, we continue to grow, or as Wesley would have said, "continue on to perfection."

Inspiration:
Last night the sermon was about problems coming with growth. The sermon was more about growth in the church and the need for people to step in and help fill the needs of the congregation, but I saw it a little different. There has been a lot of growth happening in my life, and I have been just chugging along, not really focusing on anything. It's been forever since I have had regular devotional time (quiet time) and even longer since I sat down and wrote for myself (like this).

So, my new goal is to be more productive. If I can get back to starting my day focusing on myself, and who God wants me to be, and end my day in devotion and prayer time, then the "me" in the middle will be a more productive, peaceful being. I plan to write more, reflect more, and spend some time being still and knowing that God is real and powerful in my life. This is always an underlying thought for me, but I want to put it back front and center. I'd like to say that weight loss and taking care of my body will come with this, and I really hope it does, but I've made too many failed proclamations to say it again.

So, I woke up inspired this morning. Inspired to do all the work that's sitting on my To-Do list (personal, professional, and for friends). Inspired to remember that God is the time-keeper, and do things in his time and not mine. Inspired to go for more walks, and run a few more 5ks. Inspired to be more positive at work. Inspired to be a better wife to my husband (I cooked breakfast for him today, see already on a roll!) I want to inspire others, and get back to the place where Jesus shines on my face like the morning sun. So, pray for me, send positive energy my way, and get inspired too! If we are all inspired to be better people, then we will see a better world!

Quick Update

Is it possible that it is almost June? I can't believe it! Things have been moving along really fast! I honestly can't remember March and April was so busy that it went by in a HUGE blur!

Update:
• Martin & I have booked our trip to Las Vegas and plan to go over our 5 year anniversary on July 24. We also plan to drive over to the Grand Canyon.
• I have finished all my classes for this semester and it looks like I will have a 4.0, however, there is a small chance of a B in Church History, and I care not!
• I decided not to take any classes this summer because I want to focus a little more on Martin and I and being together as a family. I feel like the last few months were such a blur, and I missed just hanging out!
• Work is still going great, May was still pretty busy, but it's slowed down a bit now and I've had time to focus on some of the "small" things that get pushed aside while planning events!
• June 4 Martin and I will celebrate 9 years together as a couple ... that's a long time! :)
• We went to visit Whitney and Graham (and Annie briefly) this weekend and had a great time. However, I weighed when I got home and saw on the scale the weight that I have never seen before ... so, back to yo-you dieting myself down to the place where I am still fat, but at least I can look at myself in the mirror.
• Martin and I ran our first 5k in late April, and had a great time! We haven't signed up to do another yet, but plan to. I need to get us on a real running schedule, but to do that I have to stop scheduling meetings after 6 p.m.

That's about it for now. Sorry it's been so long, and really, I know this wasn't the most informative blog, but I promise I will try to blog a lot more in the next few months!

New Blog for Spirituality

So, a lot of times I discuss religious aspects of life on this blog.

Well, I'd like to invite those of you who are interested to check out a new blog that I will be contributing to, along with my best friend Whitney, dealing with life issues and spirituality. The blog will focus mainly on Christian principals, but we hope that we can have a discussion that is open to all peoples, no matter if they are a practicing Christian or not. So, please take a look at our new blog and share with your friends. It is geared more toward women in their 20s and 30s, but anyone is invited to join in on the discussion!

Here is the link: http://zoeandsofya.blogspot.com/

The blog is called Zoe & Sofya which means Life & Wisdom in Greek. We hope to provide wisdom for today's life issues in a loving and caring manner!

Check it out and please take a moment to comment on our first post (there are even discussion questions to get you started)!

The joys of Internet (at home!)

Well, the battle has been fought, and we came out victorious! Yes, there is high-speed broadband internet at the casa de Downey!

It was a long and difficult process, that literally took months of my time, but last night at 7 p.m., we were able to actual access the internet from way out in the country of St. Cloud manor!

I don't even feel like going into all the annoying details (especially the part about having a Comcast tech at my home until nearly 1 in the morning) but, it's over with now and last night I was able to sit down and actually do my homework without having to go to the library for hours (St. Cloud library is really nice though, and has this great little study room!) I wrote all the papers that I have due for the next few weeks because I was able to actually do the research I needed. It was so refreshing!

Of course, Martin was ecstatic because he could finally update the Wii and download songs onto the Guitar Hero game, so that was exciting too. It seems to be really good service, I checked out You Tube and Netflix and both ran very smoothly.

So, finally I can start blogging again and really get back into updating.

I do want to blog more about Kelly's wedding but that will have to wait until later, I need to get ready for class!

Kelly's Wedding

Here are a few slideshows. There will be more info about the wedding to come. It was absolutely beautiful and we had a great time ... I also got really dolled up and it was a great place for Martin to take some portraits of me ... more on all this later (including airbrush makeup). I haven't had time to format all photos, but you get the point! Also to see them better, click on the slide show :)

Enjoy!