Whirlwind, 26 Weeks + 6 Days (27 Weeks)

There is a reason this blog is called Seven Tornadoes, it's because life for me is often swirling around and I'm just grasping to hold on to the baseboards of the home I've made for myself and my little family. To say things have not slowed down would be an understatement.

The first tornado is my life right now is our backyard. When we moved into our house in Sept. 2008 we knew that eventually we would do some work in our backyard, but didn't know what we wanted to happen. We couldn't decide if we wanted a backporch and leave the swampy, woodsy divide between our house and the land behind us or to clear our entire backyard of said swamp, sod the area, put up a privacy fence and have a large backyard. We decided on making a backyard for the house because we really wanted a large fenced in backyard for Sawyer (the pup) and Jude (the babe) to play in while Jude is growing up. Also, there was no place for a swing-set or anything like that back there, and though there is a park about 2 miles down the road, it'll be nice to have play area in the back too. But, of course, as soon as we started the project it started raining in Florida. Been cold and dry for weeks ... now rain. We wanted to get it done before late spring because we want the grass to not die when we plant it, so we started early, but now my backyard is a HUGE mudpit. We have a large dirt pile sitting in our front yard, which the neighborhood kids have taken to sliding down and trying to ramp with their bicycles, and construction equipment littered around the lawn. It's a huge mess! A nice mess, mind you, but not pretty at all.

Second and third tornadoes? Family stuff and work stuff. Both, who I don't like to talk too much about in my blog, have been stressful and full of uncertainty in the last few weeks, and it has taken a lot of prayers and support from my amazing husband to get through everything. It looks like the family stuff is going to calm down a bit, but as for work ... we'll have to wait it out a little while longer to see if that fixes itself.

Fourth tornado? School ... this is my last semester and I've got lots of books to read and papers to write and I know that I'll get through it, but when I look at the mountain of work ahead of me I want to scream. Not to mention that I have until April 1 to finish ALL my paperwork for my upcoming meeting for ordination ... let's hope I can get things done today and get caught up so I can spend some time writing in the upcoming weeks and get things taken care of!

In the whirlwind those are the things that are spinning around me. Pregnancy wise everything is going fine. Last doctor's appointment went very well with just a quick visit and I have my glucose test Friday after next. Jude kicks a lot now, early morning, lunch-time, snack-time, dinner, my kid likes meal time, and doesn't appreciate waiting! I'm feeling pretty good and actually getting sleep, which I'm so thankful for! Tomorrow starts the beginning of my "28th" week according to one calculation which means I'm starting the third trimester. Martin and I have several baby classes coming up and I look forward to all the fun stuff we are going to learn together. We already went to "Fido meets the New Baby," and learned a lot of tools that we are using on Sawyer to get him ready. We were planning to start Childbirth 101 tonight but I had to reschedule to a one-day intensive class so that will be later on in April. We also have a baby shower happening in Arkansas next weekend which I'm going to get to go home for but Martin is going to have to stay behind and work. :( We also need to work on planning the Florida showers, which I need to get moving on!

So, overall, even though the room is still spinning, I know we are going to make it through. I'm looking forward to the next few months spending time with my husband before our world gets turned upside down from not only a tornado, but I'm predicting Jude is going to be a little hurricane! :)

My New Year's Initiative — 18 Weeks, + 6 days

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It's a new year and most people spend this time reflecting on their past year and trying to decide what they are going to do better or differently in the new year. Most folks call this their "New Year's Resolution." They RESOLVE that they will make a change, that from that moment on they will lose weight, or exercise more, or stop smoking ... they make a statement. I don't believe in Resolutions. I think they are a lot of talk and no action. I can sit on my comfy couch and announce to the world that I will be thin, healthy, and athletic, but until I get up and DO something, I am just blowing hot air.

That's why this year I have instituted what I am calling my "New Year's Initiative." An initiative is a little different from a resolution because it requires more than just the first step, it is more than just making a statement or decision, it involves the second step ... actual follow-through. So, instead of resolving to do something, I've gone ahead and just did it.

In a little over 20 weeks (give or take) our baby will be here. It will be new and different and exciting ... but it will also be scary. The baby will demand more time of me than I have to offer, and I will have to oblige, because the baby comes first. So, this year I am taking steps to be more efficient, by carving out my time very carefully. I love my job, but when the choice comes between working or going home to be with my husband, I will choose home. I realize that I will not always have a choice, sometimes work can be like that, but on the days when I make the decision to stay or go ... I go. This applies to school too. I am not taking any courses that aren't required of me, even though I want to take the Technology and Ministry course because I know it will be super easy and it will pad my GPA (I have to make a blog as my final project ... um, yeah). I will not sign up for it, because that's wasted time away from my family. So what if I won't have an amazing GPA when I graduate, I'll have a pretty decent one (still Cum Laude I hope) and would have spent more time with my husband perfecting our marriage, which seems a little more important to me than the sticker on my degree.

Finally, I'm doing more things for me. I will visit the library once a week (and have been) and check out at least two or three cheesy quick read novels or intense nonfiction book to read. I can usually get through one of those in a night or two, and it's important for me to read. I love to read, and I deserve to read more than just my homework books. Carving time out for me will make me a better wife and mother, and I need to do a good job of teaching myself that now. I will not work myself into the ground and then come home and try to be superwoman. If there is anything that being pregnant has taught me it's that I can't "do it all." What's surprising is that I'm okay with that. I know there are plenty of feminists out there shaking their fist and declaring me a traitor for that statement, but really what woman do you know who truly does it all? I still plan to work full-time, I still plan to be a mother to my child, I still plan to be ordained and become a "woman preacher." I think I'm okay with the feminist movement here, but what I'm saying is that I have a choice of where I set my boundaries, and at the end of the day my choice will always be with my family. My husband, my child, my health, comes before anything else on my agenda, and that will be my focus for not only 2010, but for the rest of my life.

I am not ashamed to say that I have stepped back and evaluated and have decided that my needs and my family's needs come before everything else. It's a growth process, and I had to learn how much I could give, before I could learn how much I could take back. So, that's my initiative, to evaluate each circumstance and ask myself, "who benefits from this decision, and what are the pros/cons of making this choice?"

I hope that each one of you will have a prosperous new year and will also take a look at your own lives. What can you cut back, move around, make better so that you can give your time and energy to whatever it is that makes you the most happy?

Upcoming Blogs:

Will Baby Downey give us a peep show? Find out on 1/18/09!

The Love Dare — Martin and I received it as a gift. I have my opinions on it already but I'm trying to give it a fair shake for the sake of the great friend who got it for us!

15 Weeks + 5 Days, End of the Semester Blues

Right now, in this moment. I hate school. I know it won't last. But right now, I'm so over it. I know I have one semester left of this and then I'm finished with what I'm "required" to take, but I'm so so tired. You see, I actually love to learn, but this semester has been hell on me since getting pregnant. I would not change being pregnant for the world (and there is good news on down after this complaining session), but I am way too tired to work full-time and do school online at night and give both 100%. I'm going to make a "B" in my favorite class of the semester. Mostly because I didn't have time to banter stupidly with other classmates on the online post, if I fail the paper I just wrote, I'm going to make a "C." Which, you know, whatever. It's graduate school, getting a "B" or a "C" is not the end of the world, the issue here is that I COULD have made an "A," and pretty easily if I could have just stayed awake a few more nights and pushed through. But, I didn't. I'll probably make an "A" in my other two classes, so it's not like I'm flunking out or anything, I'm just annoyed with myself right now because I have two papers left to write and really, I'm just so FREAKIN' over it!

Okay ... want some happy news? I've been able to feel the baby move. I know this is an INCREDIBLE blessing because most people don't feel this until like 20 weeks for their first pregnancy, but I guess I'm just aware. I've only felt the baby move twice, once when I was listening to "Here Comes the Sun," by the Beatles, I felt a little flutter in my tummy twice in a row, so I knew that was my kid. However, the second time was a funny. I was listening to Jay-Z in the car and the bass came on and it scared my kid to death! I could feel it totally freaking out! I felt a little guilty, but overall I just laughed out loud for like 10 minutes. Oddly enough, as I write this the baby is kicking the crap out of me, as I started the paragraph there was nothing and then patter, patter! : ) I have a very active little one!

Okay, that's the update for now. Christmas in a week! Yay! I'm ready for a couple days off work where I don't have to think too much. I'm ready for this semester to be over with so that I don't have to think at ALL about that! Thanks for letting me vent, I just needed to get my feelings out there and into the open air. Two more papers to write and I'll be finished with this semester, whatever grades I get, I get. At least I know that I always have one Master's to fall back on to pretend that I'm smart!