Wednesday, October 1, 2008

A World of HOPE!

The last six months of my life have not been the easiest. To be honest, there were some days that I was so fed up, so tired, so out of hope that I didn't even want to get out of bed in the mornings. I was overwhelmed in a job that put a lot of pressure on me to preform at a level that was beyond ANYONE'S ability. I was questioning God and my faith because ordination was going well, but as more and more things came to light, I knew I could not work in the local church. I was working through a long-overdue conversation with myself regarding forgiveness and truth when my Father passed away in March. And, I was house-hunting.

Late summer brought deliverance to my family and I want to offer praise to God for that deliverance. I gave my notice at First United Methodist Church of Kissimmee on July 31, 2008 with a heavy heart, but I was moving towards my call and my true passion. After a great trip home to Arkansas to visit my family, I began working at HOME on Aug. 8 as the Development Associate. I can honestly say that I adore my new job! We are a small non-profit working to break the cycle of homelessness in Osceola County. I am all public relations, all the time. I get to do all the things I love (designing newsletters, graphics, websites) and keep speaking in front of people about a topic that I am super passionate about, homelessness. What's amazing is that this job fits perfectly into my ordination track (as a Deacon, we are dedicated to serving God through working in the world). I have a great boss and I really admire the whole staff because they are all very talented and amazing women! It's honestly my dream job and I hope to be there for a really long time.

This fall has also brought deliverance. Deliverance from the world of hopelessness when searching for a home for Martin and I. Wouldn't it just glorify God that we would close on a house in less than two weeks, a house that someone in our Bible study told us about, on the day (September 30, 2008) after the market crashed 777 (yeah, anyone else notice the perfect number there)?

The new house is amazing, it is brand new, it's out in the "sticks" as someone put it at church and it's the perfect size to raise a (future) family. I can't wait to get moved in and settled!

It's been a hard six months, in fact, it's been a tough two years. I know that times will not always be easy. In fact, one of my friends suggested I delete my earlier, depressing blogs from Myspace. But, I don't want to do that. I want the reminder there. The knowledge that I have been tested and that at the end of the trial, God Provided.

I know that many people have problems with faith, and sometimes it's hard to understand why people are so faithful to a God that they can not see or understand. But, for me, faith comes easy. Because, I have been tested, and I've come out stronger. I know that my God provides in ways that I would have never imagined. It is not because of who I am that God has provided but because of who he makes me to be.

Isaiah 40:26-31

26Lift up your eyes on high and see the stars:
Who created these?
He who brings out their host and numbers them,
calling them all by name;
because he is great in strength,
mighty in power,
not one is missing.

27Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
‘My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God’?

28Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.

29He gives power to the faint,
and strengthens the powerless.
30Even youths will faint and be weary,
and the young will fall exhausted;

31but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.