Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Friday, February 5, 2010

Ugh!— 23 + 2 Days

So, I have said that I wasn't going to post too many negative things on the blog regarding pregnancy. But, after talking with a couple of friends I have been convinced that I'm not exactly being honest if I leave out the bad parts right?

So tonight I am being honest. Being pregnant is not the most wonderful feeling on the Earth! I am tired all the time, my emotions range from happy to sad to pissed in less than a five minute time span, and at the present moment I just feel completely unhappy with the world. I feel fat, my face is broke-out, my hair constantly looks greasy, and I really just want to break something. I know part of this has to do with the fact that I had a pretty stressful week, on top of my work schedule I had a meeting every single night, and I am working tomorrow. I'm upset right now because I really wanted to go out to eat tonight and Martin pretty much shot that down because he's on a diet. Which, I think it's great that he's trying to get healthy before the baby, but it sure doesn't make life easier as a pregnant woman. I rarely want to go out and the one night that I actually felt like going out on a relaxing date, I just felt completely shot down. I highly doubt this was my husband's intention, but that's all I can hear in my crazy hormonal head. I'm just overwhelmed right now, and I'm disappointed that I couldn't have a "I feel great" pregnancy. I know those exist, I know women who felt pretty darn good during their pregnancies and can't wait to get pregnant again ... I just feel like I'm stuck in "no fun land."

I don't want to sound like a total drag, so I'll try to stop venting. In happy news my kid kicks all the time now, but I'm even a little frustrated with that because he is SUPER active. Sometimes I double over from the kick, I think he must be taking kickboxing in there or something. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty darn cool. But it also keeps me from getting comfortable or even sleeping and that's hard. Last night I actually got 6 hours of sleep and I was proud of that ... Didn't I hear somewhere that pregnant women need 9-12 hours ... not likely!

So there, the downsides of pregnancy. I feel alone. I feel overwhelmed. I'm hungry but don't want to eat. I would like to cry about it, then I just feel guilty because I'm not supposed to feel this way! It makes me think crazy things, like that I would like to quit my job and be a stay at home mom, which, if you know me at all, is not something that I could ever imagine myself being happy doing (No offense to all those SAHM's out there, you rock and I'm glad it works for you, but I know myself, and I know I wouldn't be good at it). I think some of that feeling is simply because I learned child-care is going to be super expensive and that's pretty stressful.

Isn't it fun to hear what's in the crazy fat pregnant lady's head?