So, please, don't ever change -- No, don't you ever change -- Just, promise me you're always gonna be -- As sweet as you are -- I love you when you're happy -- I love you when you're blue -- I love you when you're mad at me -- So how can I get tired of you? — Don't Ever Change, The Beatles
Today is my birthday. No, I didn't get around to writing about how special my baby boy is on his first birthday, but it's after midnight on what is now, my 29th birthday, and I couldn't be happier when it comes to being a mommy to my perfect little Jude.
The other night, as Jude's Dad and I were putting him to bed, Dad said, "Don't ever change," and I said, "Yes son, please be like we used to write in our high school yearbooks, 'Stay sweet, don't ever change.'" Although I'm glad I've changed since I penned those words in the blank pages of my peers annuals, I have to say that I really do wish that Jude wouldn't change at all.
But, he's already changed so much. He's much taller now and he has the sweetest, roundest most kissable tummy in the world. Sometimes I just grab him and kiss him all over and call myself the "kissy monster" in hopes that it's a boyish enough term that he will still let me do that when he's seven ... here's hoping.
His hair is growing long and Jude's Dad says we should cut it. It's blond as the sun is yellow with sweet tender curls resting on the nape of a adorable little neck ... I can't do it. Please let me have the sweet baby hair for just a little while longer. He takes his little hairbrush and he brushes his hair, then reaches up to try to tame the mess that I call my own hair. If only that child knew how lucky he is to be a boy, that when he's 13 and the curls don't work anymore, we can cut them off and it will actually look good. Unlike poor mom, whose hair at 13 was more like a white girl's fro!
He walks with purpose now, around the room, to his toys... OH LOOK! The dog left some food out ... he doesn't try to eat it. Just picks it up and returns it to the dog's bowl. My little helper already. Sometimes he walks around and spins in circles and stops, turns to me and runs over just to lay his little head on my lap. It's intoxicating how much I love this kid! He says "MOM" and "Ad-Dad" and sometimes "Awyer" to the pup, Sawyer, and sometimes "Book" and "Banana." He laughs constantly, he is, on most days an easy-going, charming, happy, little boy.
He's still got the bluest eyes I've ever seen and the gorgeous smile to go with them. We walk around the grocery store and he waves at all the little old ladies and says "hey" to each one as we walk by. He's a social butterfly with a big personality. He's the perfect mix of myself and his dad, and I can't get enough of his sense of humor. He already plays pretend with me ... picking at non-existent stuff on the floor and putting it up to his lips just to hear me say, "what do you got?" Then he smiles and I know it was "just for fun, Mom!"
I'm so in love with this child that I can hardly see straight! I have loved spending lots of time with him this summer, and my heart breaks a little to know that I won't be able to spend as much time with him the next few weeks.
But God blessed me with a summer of Jude and Mommy time, and I am eternally grateful ... for my little boy will change, as much as I beg him not to ... but for now, I get to hold him close, brush that soft hair off his forehead and just breath in that sweet baby smell for just a little while longer.