The Weekend is my Enemy

I've been on the wagon now for two weeks. That's right, I'm in a 12-step program ... for food. I'm back on Weight Watchers again after a short break from the "dieting" scene. Back in June, I decided that I wasn't going to worry too much about my weight. I figured, hey, I'm going to be pregnant soon, so no need to be watching my weight. I thought that I could just blame any weight gain on my baby bump, and not my eating habits.

Guess what happens when you take on this mindset and don't get pregnant? You gain 15 pounds. That's right, 15. I already weighed more than I would like, but I didn't figure I would gain that much, especially since I was going to be all fat and pregnant. Well, thanks to my overactive cycle and under-active metabolism I am neither pregnant nor skinny. I am now 45 pounds overweight.

So, once I realized that this baby thing wasn't going to go the way I wanted, I decided I better at least get these extra 15 pounds off before 200 starts staring at me from the scale. So, I've changed my habits yet again. I am dedicated to exercising at least 20 minutes a day for five days a week, eating within my weight watchers points, and taking care of myself by writing, reading, and relaxing in my down-time. All of this can tend to be a bit difficult with a busy work schedule, but I'm at the point where I'm over it. And that's usually the point where I become the most successful.

It's interesting that other things in my life seem to go so well for me. Career wise I'm right where I want to be (tomorrow marks one year at my AMAZING job, and it came with a new title and promotion, Deputy Director), I enjoy freelance writing for the Florida UMC conference, and ordination is moving at a steady pace. Marriage wise I couldn't be more blessed. My husband is caring, supportive, and loving, I'm lucky to have him. But, with all the good things, I just can't seem to get "healthy" with myself. I find that the weekends are my worst enemy. All week I count points and do really well, but when Friday night gets here, I loose the obsession and eat whatever I like. This attitude continues on Saturday and by Sunday I am disgusted with myself. Lucky for me I didn't give up last week when I fell in the weekend trap (I lost 3 lbs) and I was able to get back on track this week (weigh day is tomorrow). But, I would do so much better on my weight loss and exercise if I wouldn't let Friday and Saturday get in my way.

So, my goal this week is to be READY for Friday. I will write down everything I put into my body over the weekend, I know I can do this because I do it all week. I will continue my morning prayer and Bible time, I will continue exercising and I hope to do a practice 10k this weekend.

I'm back on the wagon ... let's hope I don't fall of. If I do, just go ahead and let it run over me please.

Looking for Rainbows ... Part II

Today is my birthday. As of 7:45 p.m. (or so) I turned the ripe old age of 27.

When I was 21 I made a list of things I wanted to achieve by the time I was 30. I don't remember all of it (it's in a book that Whitney currently has custody of), but I know there were things in there like lose weight, start a magazine, have a baby and go to Europe.

I'm 27 and have yet to do any of those things, and I still want to. But, there are other things that have gotten in the way, new goals that I have been working on and seeing some good results. I would have never thought at 21 that I was going to be ordained or so passionate about helping those in need in the community. There are things in my life I am VERY proud of, and for that I am know I am blessed. But, with those great things there are disappointments.

I debated if I was going to blog about what I have been going through lately, because it is deeply personal. But, if what I have to say will help someone else feel better then it's worth putting myself out there. One of my goals before I was 30 was/is to have a baby, and it's one that is proving to be a little more difficult than I would have hoped. Martin and I decided back in April that we were ready to start a family, but our timing doesn't seem to be working with my body's timing. It's to the point now where I have made a doctor's appointment to see if everything is "all right." I have some ideas about what is going on, and honestly I blame 10 years of birth control for the problem. But, even when you do have a scapegoat, you still can't help but be upset with yourself, and disappointed. I have several friends who are pregnant right now (and congrats to all of them), and it's really hard trying to figure out why they have seemed to get pregnant so easy, and for me it seems to be more of a challenge. It's frustrating, and I know I am not alone in this. I know there are thousands of women who are going through what I am going through, and really, it's only been four months. It may be that there simply hasn't been enough time, but it's still REALLY hard.

Martin has been amazing in all of this. He loves me, and he has been supportive in everything. Even when I spent a whole day crying this week, even when I seem like I am going crazy. I'm very lucky to have such a loving and understanding husband.

Today I turned 27, and when I walked outside from dinner I saw the widest, brightest rainbow shinning over my world. I have to remember the promise of a few months ago, that God reminded me. God is with me, there is a plan, and I'm part of it. I just have to keep looking for rainbows.

Celebrate my Birthday!!

Donate in my honor!

Looking for Rainbows

I woke up a bit early this morning, which hardly ever happens for me. Usually by Sunday I am so tired that I can't even move, yet alone get up by 6 a.m., but this morning when Sawyer (who has since fallen back asleep) woke me up for his usually bathroom/morning meal routine, I didn't feel like going back to bed, so I'm enjoying a little time to myself this morning to relax and reflect.


Updates

I've done really well this week on my being more positive plan. I've set aside time each night for devotional, and have actually stuck to it. Now, it's not more than 20-30 minutes worth of time, but it's amazing how just a few extra minutes each day spent in prayer and reflection seems to get me back centered and at peace. However, it was a pretty rough week for me and I think if I hadn't of planned to have that time, I would have been a lot more stressed. I am liking having a domain name for the blog, but for some reason if you go directly to the link the whole page doesn't load, I'm not sure why, and I'm hoping this will work itself out in the future.


Looking for Rainbows

This week brought a few hard memories for me when I found out that one of my niece's friends had been killed in a car accident. When I was about her age I had a dear friend pass on and the memory broke my heart, and just knowing what she was going through made it even harder to swallow. It's always funny how God speaks right when I need him to. I was driving to work after hearing the news, reflecting on death, life, resurrection, all the things that I believe to my core, and honestly I wasn't thinking, "God why?" but more along the lines of, "Is your promise really possible?," Boy, I've found when you ask a question like that you get an answer you will never believe. As I was thinking and praying about past circumstances and a few current circumstances (especially those involving work), I saw just a glimmer of a rainbow in the distance. Rainbows to me are a clear reminder of God's presence with his people. It was the sign of the covenant that he would always be with us in the OT, and it is a continued sign to me that God keeps all his promises. Honestly, that small sign was all I needed, I was already feeling connected and close, but God apparently thought I needed more reassurance. Immediately after I saw the small rainbow I noticed that I had an e-mail on my phone. A co-worker had taken a photograph at work and he thought I would like it:

As someone on my Facebook said, "What a promise!" What a promise indeed. With an full arched rainbow over the place where I spend most of my time, it was God reminding me of his ways, his plans, and ultimately his promises, for me and for mankind. "As colorful as a rainbow that appears after a storm. I realized I was seeing the brightness of the LORD's glory, " Ezekiel 1:28.

God's glory is constantly around us, and he has promised to never forget us or forsake us. The rainbow says to me, through the trails, through the pain, there can be peace, love, grace. The rainbow is, for me, God's ultimate sign of grace. I am so thankful for all the gifts that God has already poured out over my life, every sweet morning with my husband, every milestone that happens in my career, it is not me who deserves the credit, but God and his ultimate grace!

I look forward to more of God's promises in my future, and I know that by believing with faith like a child I will see the truth of God's promise TODAY.

Seven Tornadoes

So, the blog has gotten a little makeover, and it's going in a new direction. Martin has officially given me permission to use this blog as my own personal creative outlet. I'm sure there will still be plenty of family updates, but that will not be the sole purpose of the blog. I've also registered the domain for this blog, so soon you can visit www.seventornadoes.com, and will get right to my blog (and for you Google Readers out there, take a moment and stop by and see how pretty the page looks!)

But, why the name Seven Tornadoes? It goes back to my high school senior newspaper, and class predictions. I wish I had the actual copy (Whitney, you have it somewhere I'm sure) but the gist of it was that I wasn't going to amount to much of anything ... I think it was probably a joke, and I took it lightly, but as a good friend says, there is truth in every joke. However, I knew myself better than anyone else, and I feel like I have been successful, but life is crazy and there are times when I feel like tornadoes are ripping through! That's what this blog is for, to give you the blow-by-blow!

Seven Tornadoes:
Seven Tornadoes, the amount that my high school classmates predicted to sweep through the trailer park where I was supposedly going to end up with my seven children. What happened instead was I became a major overachiever, live in an actual house, and don't even have kids at the ripe old age of 26. It was all in fun and games, but there was always this underlying idea that I would just get married and settle down in Arkansas. However, I instead am a career woman, happily married to my soulmate and living in Florida. This blog is a collection of my journalist work, my personal musings, religious ramblings, and a little fun and games of my own in-between! My life is a whirlwind, I guess I couldn't keep all the tornadoes away!

Inspired!

So, I haven't been in my "groove" for a while. You might have noticed since there have been fewer and fewer posts on our family blog (which, because Martin never gets on here, is really my blog) and the fact that poor Zoe and Sofya has gone to the wayside (though, feel free to blame Whitney on that one too, she hasn't blogged for months, that's right CALLING YOU OUT! :) However, be looking for a post on Zoe sometime today too! The song says, "Groove is in the Heart," and I really believe that's true. If your heart isn't in it, then it's not going to be as good without it!

So, a few updates on life and then some inspiring thoughts for a Sunday morning.

Updates:
Martin and I have officially changed churches. We had been thinking about this move for a while, it really isn't a reflection of our last church, just for me working through ordination, and Martin looking for a place that he really fit, we thought it would be better if we found a church that we could get behind and support, and one that was reaching outward instead of inward. So, we have started going to church at Community of Faith UMC. It's a drive for us, but we don't really mind that. They have a Saturday night service that we enjoy going to and then we take the rest of the night for "date night." We go to dinner or watch a movie after worship and it is the best feeling. The other great thing is that we get our Sundays to really be a a "Sabbath" time. This is really important to me because when I was working in the church Sunday was crazy busy and I never got a chance to really sit down and enjoy the world God has given us. COF is really servant driven, and they have been very supportive of HOME, so that's always a plus to have my workplace and my place of worship working together to serve all God's children. One thing I really like about them is that they are very "Wesleyan," they state that faith is a journey, not a destination, and I really believe that. We don't just stop once we proclaim our faith, we continue to grow, or as Wesley would have said, "continue on to perfection."

Inspiration:
Last night the sermon was about problems coming with growth. The sermon was more about growth in the church and the need for people to step in and help fill the needs of the congregation, but I saw it a little different. There has been a lot of growth happening in my life, and I have been just chugging along, not really focusing on anything. It's been forever since I have had regular devotional time (quiet time) and even longer since I sat down and wrote for myself (like this).

So, my new goal is to be more productive. If I can get back to starting my day focusing on myself, and who God wants me to be, and end my day in devotion and prayer time, then the "me" in the middle will be a more productive, peaceful being. I plan to write more, reflect more, and spend some time being still and knowing that God is real and powerful in my life. This is always an underlying thought for me, but I want to put it back front and center. I'd like to say that weight loss and taking care of my body will come with this, and I really hope it does, but I've made too many failed proclamations to say it again.

So, I woke up inspired this morning. Inspired to do all the work that's sitting on my To-Do list (personal, professional, and for friends). Inspired to remember that God is the time-keeper, and do things in his time and not mine. Inspired to go for more walks, and run a few more 5ks. Inspired to be more positive at work. Inspired to be a better wife to my husband (I cooked breakfast for him today, see already on a roll!) I want to inspire others, and get back to the place where Jesus shines on my face like the morning sun. So, pray for me, send positive energy my way, and get inspired too! If we are all inspired to be better people, then we will see a better world!

Quick Update

Is it possible that it is almost June? I can't believe it! Things have been moving along really fast! I honestly can't remember March and April was so busy that it went by in a HUGE blur!

Update:
• Martin & I have booked our trip to Las Vegas and plan to go over our 5 year anniversary on July 24. We also plan to drive over to the Grand Canyon.
• I have finished all my classes for this semester and it looks like I will have a 4.0, however, there is a small chance of a B in Church History, and I care not!
• I decided not to take any classes this summer because I want to focus a little more on Martin and I and being together as a family. I feel like the last few months were such a blur, and I missed just hanging out!
• Work is still going great, May was still pretty busy, but it's slowed down a bit now and I've had time to focus on some of the "small" things that get pushed aside while planning events!
• June 4 Martin and I will celebrate 9 years together as a couple ... that's a long time! :)
• We went to visit Whitney and Graham (and Annie briefly) this weekend and had a great time. However, I weighed when I got home and saw on the scale the weight that I have never seen before ... so, back to yo-you dieting myself down to the place where I am still fat, but at least I can look at myself in the mirror.
• Martin and I ran our first 5k in late April, and had a great time! We haven't signed up to do another yet, but plan to. I need to get us on a real running schedule, but to do that I have to stop scheduling meetings after 6 p.m.

That's about it for now. Sorry it's been so long, and really, I know this wasn't the most informative blog, but I promise I will try to blog a lot more in the next few months!

New Blog for Spirituality

So, a lot of times I discuss religious aspects of life on this blog.

Well, I'd like to invite those of you who are interested to check out a new blog that I will be contributing to, along with my best friend Whitney, dealing with life issues and spirituality. The blog will focus mainly on Christian principals, but we hope that we can have a discussion that is open to all peoples, no matter if they are a practicing Christian or not. So, please take a look at our new blog and share with your friends. It is geared more toward women in their 20s and 30s, but anyone is invited to join in on the discussion!

Here is the link: http://zoeandsofya.blogspot.com/

The blog is called Zoe & Sofya which means Life & Wisdom in Greek. We hope to provide wisdom for today's life issues in a loving and caring manner!

Check it out and please take a moment to comment on our first post (there are even discussion questions to get you started)!

The joys of Internet (at home!)

Well, the battle has been fought, and we came out victorious! Yes, there is high-speed broadband internet at the casa de Downey!

It was a long and difficult process, that literally took months of my time, but last night at 7 p.m., we were able to actual access the internet from way out in the country of St. Cloud manor!

I don't even feel like going into all the annoying details (especially the part about having a Comcast tech at my home until nearly 1 in the morning) but, it's over with now and last night I was able to sit down and actually do my homework without having to go to the library for hours (St. Cloud library is really nice though, and has this great little study room!) I wrote all the papers that I have due for the next few weeks because I was able to actually do the research I needed. It was so refreshing!

Of course, Martin was ecstatic because he could finally update the Wii and download songs onto the Guitar Hero game, so that was exciting too. It seems to be really good service, I checked out You Tube and Netflix and both ran very smoothly.

So, finally I can start blogging again and really get back into updating.

I do want to blog more about Kelly's wedding but that will have to wait until later, I need to get ready for class!

Kelly's Wedding

Here are a few slideshows. There will be more info about the wedding to come. It was absolutely beautiful and we had a great time ... I also got really dolled up and it was a great place for Martin to take some portraits of me ... more on all this later (including airbrush makeup). I haven't had time to format all photos, but you get the point! Also to see them better, click on the slide show :)

Enjoy!

When Jesus Turns Our World Upside Down

*This is a sermon that was preached at FUMC-Kissimmee on March 15, 2009. This was the rough draft.*

Scripture Reading I: Exodus 20:1-17

The Ten Commandments

20Then God spoke all these words:

2 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me. ³

4 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.⁵⁶

7 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

8 Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. For six days you shall labour and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it. ⁹¹⁰¹¹

12 Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

13 You shall not murder.^*

14 You shall not commit adultery.

15 You shall not steal.

16 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.

17 You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.

Scripture Reading II: John 2:13-22

Jesus Cleanses the Temple

13 The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money-changers seated at their tables. Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle. He also poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. He told those who were selling the doves, ‘Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a market-place!’ His disciples remembered that it was written, ‘Zeal for your house will consume me.’ The Jews then said to him, ‘What sign can you show us for doing this?’ Jesus answered them, ‘Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.’ The Jews then said, ‘This temple has been under construction for forty-six years, and will you raise it up in three days?’ But he was speaking of the temple of his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this; and they believed the scripture and the word that Jesus had spoken. ^{141516171819202122}

Sermon:

When I was in high sch ool back in Arkansas there was this great little place that some of my friends and I used to visit, we referred to it as "The Rock." In the foothills of the Ouachita Mountains is Lake Degray, and out on that lake, is a few little "cliffs." I say little cliffs because they aren't very high, but they are just high enough that if you find the right one, say one like "The Rock," then you can dive right off into the lake below. I loved going to the Rock, but getting there was never easy. It was located out in the woods pretty far back,

and there really wasn't a set path to it. I knew where the rock was, and I knew where the road to get back was, so I thought. One day at the Rock we realized we had forgotten to pick up stuff to have a bar-b-que, since I knew the way back to the car I offered to head back with a friend to go get the cook-out stuff. We began walking towards the car ... it was about 45 minutes later that we realized we had made a wrong turn.

Even though I knew the way perfectly, somehow I had gotten lost. I tell you this story because I think that sometimes when we read the scripture that was read today in John, we want to think that the temple sellers were bad people, I want to share with you today, that I think just to opposite, I think they were good people, who THOUGHT they knew the right way, but soon realized that in fact, they had been taking the wrong path all along. It started with "The Law."

Can you remember the first time you heard the ten commandments? Probably when you were a small child, probably about the time when you told your first lie, someone in you family might have said to you, "God doesn't like it when we lie," or "God says it's a no-no to take things that don't belong to us." The Law was given to us at a early age, and it was given to the Jewish people during Jesus' time at an early age as well, but it wasn't just the ten commandments that was read today that was given to the Jewish people to follow it was those plus the 603 or so other laws that you can find in Leviticus and Numbers. The people of the time KNEW the law, and they did everything they could to follow it to the best of their ability. That's the background that we have coming into Jesus' visit to the temple. People were simply following the law, in fact law number 482 under sacrifices, "To offer a sacrifice of varying value in accordance with one's means (Lev. 5:7), so when Jesus came in and started throwing tables around and demanding the people out who sold these sacrifices, you can imagine the people were outraged, in fact you could say that at that moment, Jesus had just turned their world upside down with every table he turned over!

What we would like to say as Christians, who know who Jesus was and is, is that the people got what they deserved, they should have realized that they were going down the wrong path, but hey, don't judge them, they've been following this path all their lives, how could they have known that they were going the wrong way. Maybe, the same way we often don't realize when we are going the wrong way today?

You see, going back to experience at the Rock, it wasn't that I didn't know the way, it's that I got distracted. I was talking to my friend, we were just going along just find, never noticing that maybe the path had shifted, we didn't forget the way, the way was always there, we ignored it. That's where we find the good people of the temple, the path didn't change, but there were so many laws, so many observances, that focusing on the path became less of the idea and focusing on the laws became more important. They stopped focusing on God and began to focus on "being Religious." When Jesus turned over the tables, he wasn't stating that these were bad people, he was just calling to their attention that the right path was in front of them and they were headed in the wrong direction.

How many times has that happened in our lives, when we stopped focusing on what's important? When did you start following the path toward salvation, was it when you were little and someone spoke to you the first of the ten commandments, was it an epiphany moment where you knew salvation was at hand, where did you go after that ... when was the last time Jesus turned your life upside down?

As some of you may know, I started seminary this Spring at Asbury , and man is it fun! I am learning so much about the Methodist church and the path that those of us who are Methodist have taken to become Methodists. My favorite class is John Wesley's Theology for Today. John Wesley, is of course, the Anglican Church leader who decided that the church he attended path was becoming a bit too legalistic and began to explore other options, in that exploration the Methodist Way began. I like how he looks at our paths in his order of salvation. According to Wesley, salvation from original sin begins with justification, continues in sanctification and ends with glorification or in layman's terms or how some theologians today like to refer to it, awaking, attaching, advancing and assuring. I think that the journey when we encounter Jesus is in that awaking moment.

When was your awaking? Was it on that path when you were first told the Ten Commandments? Think about that ... look at this chart and try to imagine where each one has or will happen for your life. Now, here is the kicker, John Wesley didn't believe that this was a step-by-step process, in fact, he believed that you could walk down the path many many times. God desires us to be aware of him OVER and OVER again — the journey continues. Often times it continues with Jesus turning our world upside down. Here are some good examples, last week Pastor Scott preached on Nicodemas, a Pharisee, his awareness came when he learned the Jewish law, and he became aware again when he asked Jesus how we must be born again, Paul, another great Jewish leader, was very aware of God, was following the path, and then BAM! Jesus appears on the road to Damascus and turns his world UPSIDE DOWN ... want some more modern examples, CS Lewis, didn't believe in God, found religion to be too full of laws and rules, until he had an encounter with Jesus and was "Surprised by Joy." These are all good examples of people who have had their lives turned upside down by Christ, and continued to let him do so.

Often times, we find ourselves on our own path. We think we have been going the right way all along, until something happens, if like me, you notice the trees don't look the same, or like Paul, you have lost your vision completely, or like John Wesley, you find that the denomination you have loved all your life has become too ritualistic, you might be having an encounter with God. Becoming aware again of who you are, looking down the path and examining, is this where God wants me to be, have I been focusing on him, or have I just been following the way, because that's the way I've always gone. Where have you already encountered Jesus and you missed it because you were taking your own path, was it in the homeless woman that you met at the grocery store who was buying food for her kids, and you were in a hurry and only noticed that it was taken her WAY too long to count out the change, did you meet Jesus on your path when your boss came to you visibly upset and you didn't bother to ask what's wrong because you were too worried about all the things YOU had to get done that day? What about when that small child looked at you and asked you to play outside, and you said, no, did you miss Jesus simply because you didn't bother to look?

Don't stop looking for God at the first awareness, don't forget to become aware again after you have found sanctification, but instead, keep pushing forward. Open your eyes to the road around you, REALLY listen to the people you meet along the way, take a moment to smile, enjoy the scenery and make sure that you are on the path that is focused on Christ, and not on anything else. And, if you find that the path has shifted, and you have you lost your way to "The Rock,," remember the words of Jesus in John 14:6, "I am the way, the truth and the life." The pathway is there, we simply must open our eyes, look for the signs, and let Jesus turn our world upside down once again.

Let's pray: Thank you gracious and holy God for your son Jesus Christ. Thank you that you have given us his examples and his words to follow as we walk down the paths of life. Lift our eyes up to you and give each one of us the assurance that you want us to become aware of you again, and again, and again. Amen.