Hawaii 5-0 (Mom @ 15 Months Post-Partum)

She's so heavy. She's so heavy, heavy, heavy.
— I Want You (She's So Heavy), The Beatles

Here's the blog post that I really didn't want to write, but it needs to be done. So here it is: I'm fat. Or as The Beatles sang

"She's so HEAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV-Y."

I'd like to blame it all on getting pregnant and then the whole new mother, not paying attention, stuff that happens, but to be honest, I was fat before I got pregnant. I had let me weight creep up and up and up until when I did get pregnant I started out at an unhealthy weight. To be honest, it has been because I just didn't want to pay attention to it all. Since having Jude I have been wanting to lose all of the weight, but would get motivated and then lose motivation back and forth until I just ended up maintaining. So here's some background.

When I got pregnant with Jude I was 180. That's 40 lbs over my healthy weight range. At that point my thought was, "Well, I'm going to be pregnant soon, so why bother with trying to lose weight at this point." That probably wasn't the best plan. Then at my highest weight during pregnancy I got up to 226. So, not only was I 40 lbs overweight but the pregnancy added another 46 lbs to my body.

As you can imagine, I didn't feel that good. Right after having Jude I lost 20 lbs right off the bat. I nursed and I think that helped a lot and I think some of it was just natural lose from not carrying a kid around anymore! So, I sat at 206 for a while. Then I joined a weight loss group at my church, First Place for Health. I loved the group and the accountability that it gave me. I really looked forward to the meetings and sharing with one another. I lost another 22 lbs which got me down to 184. Then Martin and I decided not to do the class again for another 12 weeks, and I kept the weight off, but didn't lose anymore. That was at the end of May. Jude was now 1 years old, and I still wasn't even down to where I was before I got pregnant. I still had 4 lbs to go! So, I got a little discouraged and ended up gaining 10 lbs back over the summer. I had originally planned to do another First Place class, but my work schedule isn't allowing it, so really, now it's up to me to get motivated.

And that's where the Hawaii 5-0 Challenge comes in! In celebration of my 30th Birthday next year Martin and I are planning on going to Hawaii! I've always wanted to go and we actually have a couple of really amazing friends who live there, so we not only get to see the island, but also spend time with some folks who we have missed greatly in the past two years! We plan to go next June and, as I told Martin, "No one wants to be fat in Hawaii!" I just keep thinking about Lilo and Stich and how Lilo went around and took pictures of fat people ... I don't want to be that person on the beach! So I've set the big goal for myself to lose at least 50 lbs before we go to Hawaii, but I also have some other goals to help pace myself. (Also, I was insanely motivated by Whit over here!)

1. Lose 15 lbs by Nov. 2011 and have completed the Couch to 5k program. I've actually been doing the Couch to 5k program for the last few weeks, and I'm just now on week 3, so this gives me time to miss a few days because of rain and laziness but still get it done by my first goal date. In conjunction to the running program I want to have at least 15 lbs off.

2. Lose 40 lbs by Feb. 2012 and complete the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon. If I lose 2 lbs a week until February I will actually be very close to goal, but I also know that Thanksgiving and Christmas is going to be in the mix, so I want to be realistic with myself and know that I could possibly mess up. As for the 1/2 Marathon I will have to really push myself from November to February but I know I can do it. I'm not looking to do anything record breaking at the event, but I at least want to run some of it. I did the Disney Wine & Dine 10k when I was 8 weeks pregnant with Jude and completed it, so I have no doubt that even at this point I could finish the race, but I want to do more than just finish, I want to be somewhere in the middle, instead of afraid the slow-poke bus is going to pick me up!

3. Lose at least 50 lbs by June 2012 and go to Hawaii! Like I said, if I'm really diligent I can probably lose the 50 way before June. If this happens, we will look at my goals and see how I feel. In all honesty I could probably lose 60-70 lbs which would get me somewhere around 120-130. But, I haven't seen those numbers since High School, and when I was 115-120 it was when I had been to Drum Corp and was working out 14 hours a day, so let's be real here. I think 143, for now, is a great goal weight. It's the number I'm working towards, and it's a weight that I would be happy with in Hawaii. We will be booking our trip probably in January and at that time I will be able to access if I'm really on track (hopefully, I will be WAY on track!)

My plan is to update you weekly on my progress ... so if you aren't interested in my progress if you see the Hawaii 5-0 logo, then you know to skip this blog! And, if you don't hear from me each week ... CALL ME OUT! If I'm not updating that means that I've fallen off the wagon and I need my friends to tell me to get back on it! :) I will also update on Jude (which we have a doctor's appointment today, so be looking for a Jude essay sometime this week) but I wanted to use the space that I already had on the net to update my progress instead of getting a new blog. And really, Hawaii is like the land of rainbows ... so what better way to Watch for Rainbows than from my healthy (skinny) self on Waikiki Beach?

Hey Jude!

Jude is finally here! I have SO much to say and so many pictures to share! But, I'll try to not ramble on too much and just give you the facts about my little perfect little boy!


To the Hospital:Here we are, our little family before Jude, on Wednesday morning May 26. I was nervous going in but I knew that by the end of the day our little boy would be here and so it calmed my nerves a little bit. We ended up getting to the hospital a little late because I was moving so slow, but thankfully they still let us in! : )

Hospital Time:
So, here I am after we got all checked in. They would only allow Martin back in the room with me so he took this shot, my last pregnant belly shot with Jude. Having a scheduled c-section still doesn't prepare you for how scary it all is. At least when you go into "labor" there isn't time to really think about the "What ifs" but sitting there I was nervous and scared and afraid of everything that could go wrong in a c-section. They did come in to do a ultrasound and he was still breech, so everything was a go. My doctor was running late too, so they pushed the c-section back to 12:30, even more time to worry. However, at 12 they brought Martin his scrubs and we got ready to go back to the room.

The Birth:
They don't allow anyone in the OR during the spinal block so it was just me and my nurse (side note: our two nurses were Joan (my mom's name) and Kay (Martin's mom's name), weird right?) and the anesthesiologist (Dr. Stoner, no lie) and the assistant (Kim). Kim actually administered the block and I was super nervous. I tried not to cry from the nerves but I couldn't help it, however it was more nerves than pain because honestly the thing didn't hurt at all. Very similar to the feeling you get from a tattoo. The first prick hurts then it just goes numb. After the block they began to get me ready for the surgery. I couldn't feel anything, so that was really good. I was scared the block wouldn't work and they would have to put me to sleep. So, even though I had wanted a natural birth and wanted to feel everything, in this instance I was relieved! Once they had be all draped and ready to go my doctor came in. I was a bit annoyed that country music was playing on radio, though on the radio at first was Garth Brook's "Unanswered Prayers" so that was kind of sweet. Dr. M got started right away and they went to get Martin. I told Kim to make sure Martin didn't see anything when he came in so when he came in the door she was great, she looked at him and said "EYES ON ME." Martin made it up by me and didn't see anything that could have made my poor husband pass out! I vaguely remember that the song on the radio right BEFORE Jude was born was some Toby Keith song and I remember thinking ... "God, please don't let the first thing my son hears when he comes into the world be Toby Keith!" Thankfully, that song went off right before we heard Jude's cry and that was such music to my ears that I didn't even pay attention to what was on next!

They took Jude over to be cleaned up and Martin followed. This part I didn't like very much because it seemed like forever before I could touch him! I really wanted to at least touch him before they did all the testing and stuff, but it just didn't happen and I'm okay with that because I knew he was healthy. They weighed him and did his measurements (7 lbs, 19 inches) and I swear I heard his APGAR Score at 9.9. After that they let Martin bring Jude over to me and I was able to kiss him and touch his cheek. He was so perfect, though the thing I kept noticing while they cleaned him us was "Man, he has really big feet!" The good news for the grandparents was that the OR had a viewing room that they could only see the baby and my face, so Mom and Martin's parents got to see Jude about the same time I did!

After letting me touch the baby and we took a few pictures (thanks to Kim again) the nursery nurse had Martin carry Jude back to the recovery room to wait on me. Dr. M said a few things to me saying it went good and then the nurses worked on getting me ready to head to recovery. Martin said that while he was waiting the nurse just left him and Jude alone for 15 minutes and they just snuggled, he said Jude didn't cry once.

Once I got back to recovery I was finally able to hold Jude. I waited like 3 minutes then I asked if I could try breastfeeding. Joan the nurse said, "Don't be such an overacheiver," apparently she doesn't know me very well. :)

We were in recovery with Jude for about an hour and a half then they moved us to our room. It was still another hour before they allowed the grandparents to come back but during that time it was all Martin, Jude and me. I was amazed at how hands off the nursing staff actually was, but more on that in a minute. Finally the grandparents got to come back and meet Jude for the first time.

I can't tell you how amazing it was to finally get to hold my little boy, it made all the waiting so worth it!

First Night/Day 1:
The first night was pretty tough, I'm not going to lie. Even though we had already tried breastfeeding, Jude was having a hard time with it because he had so much mucus left in his system from the c-section. We had a great lactation consultant that kept checking on us and a great nurse who literally burped my kid for 30 minutes trying to get all that stuff out of him. The nursing staff was pretty hands off when it came to checking on us though once we finally got Jude eating. So from the hours of 2-6 a.m. was really overwhelming because Martin and I were so tired! However, by the time the sun came up I was already feeling better about the night and Jude was sleeping like a log! I think for me, it was just hard because I couldn't get up and help Martin. I'm comfortable with babies and have helped take care of newborns before, but this was Martin's first time! I have to say, my husband is simply amazing! He did an outstanding job and he was rewarded by getting to go home and sleep a few hours and my Mom stayed for Day 2/Night at the hospital.

Day 2/Second Night:Either Jude was in a great mood and feeling so much better or my mom is the baby whisperer (I'm leaning toward the second) because night two was so freakin' easy. Jude only woke up to eat or be changed and mom snuggled him while I let the pain killers do their job and got some much needed sleep. By the time Martin got to the hospital the next day I was up and had talked my doctor into letting me go home! Jude had his circumcision too and was looking really good.

Going Home:
Well, we got Jude in his carseat, the one that I had just had inspected and knew that he was perfectly safe in as we drove away and was feeling good. Martin asked me if I wanted to take Osceola Parkway or 192. At first I said 192 because there is this wicked bumpy bridge on Osceola Parkway and I thought it might hurt but then I thought ... "Ugh, tourist on 192, I don't want some stupid tourist to run into us looking for Disney World," so we went Osceola Parkway. Jude was asleep and was doing very good in the car and we were just about home when some jerk decides to rear-end us at a yield sign, literally 10 minutes from the house! Of course I jump out of the car like a maniac, ready to KILL this man who wasn't watching where he was going! Mom was sitting in the backseat with Jude and she said his carseat didn't even move! There was no damage to the cars, no one was hurt but I still wanted to call 911 and an ambulance. Everyone talked me out of it, though I STILL would like the guy to have gotten a ticket for bumping us. Of course, I was freaking out beyond belief, I couldn't stop crying, I was so worried that Jude would have some internal injury that we wouldn't know about, but really Martin assured me that we went over speedbumps in the car harder than they guy bumped us. Mom was more worried about me because I had just jumped out of a car when I could hardly move! That's what adrenaline will do for you I guess! The upside to the whole thing was that it apparently got my "mama" hormones going because as soon as we got home and Jude nursed I realized that my milk had fully come in! So, I guess God just wanted to speed things up for me so my little guy could get a good meal! : )
Once we got home we introduced Jude and Sawyer (the pup). To tell you the truth it was the cutest thing ever! Sawyer set up like Jude was some sort of treat and he has been a really good dog! I was worried about how he would react but he's actually pretty protective and he pretty much wants to be anywhere the baby is except at night ... at night my dog wants his beauty rest!

Day 3-4:
I've gone on and on here, but there was so much to tell (and still more I left out!) However, the last few days at home have been really good! Jude is a pretty easy baby to take care of and besides one night where he was really really gassy and once again my Mom saved the day and kept him calm. I don't know what I'm going to do when she goes home, she's been amazing! However, I don't feel too bad because I know this will be the only bonding time she's going to get with him until September so even though I feel a little guilty that she lets me sleep and she doesn't mind holding him I know that it's also really good for Jude because he will remember his Memaw when he goes home. Also Martin's parents were here and they got to spend some time with Jude too. They left on Saturday but will be back in three weeks with Jude's aunt to spend more time with him!

Today:Jude got dressed up in his Razorback gear and as for me, I feel really good. I haven't had to take too much pain killers and I'm so thankful for that. I am up and around and we even ventured out to Wal-mart (just my mom and I) and then today Jude Martin and I went to the Publix down the street to get stuff for a birthday breakfast and dinner for my mom (Today is a very special birthday for her, but I won't say her age ... but let me just say my mom is STILL very young!) I feel so amazingly blessed. Jude is an easy baby. He has a slight bit of jaundice in one eye so we have been sitting him by a window and letting him get some sunlight. We will take him for his newborn check-up tomorrow and look forward to enjoying the rest of the week of Martin being off work. Martin will begin working from home beginning next week and Mom goes home on Saturday. I'm looking forward to spending this time with my family, it's so special!
So, that's it. If you are still there after that incredibly LONG post I applaud you -- either it was really interesting or you just love me enough to read it all! Either way, stay tuned. I'll try to post pictures at least once a week of Jude, and update you on anything major that happens along the way! Here are some more pictures for your viewing pleasure. : )

A Much Needed Post ... 38 Weeks + 3 Days

So there is so much to talk about and I don't have a lot of energy to write it all out. First of all I had TWO great showers here in Florida from Cara & Jill and Jenny & Anne. One we had at our home and the other at The Clayhouse. They were both absolutely wonderful! I can't tell you how thankful I am for all my friends here in Florida and the love and kindness they showed us through the fun we had and the gifts they shared with Jude! Thanks to everyone who came out!

In other news we have been getting the house ready for Jude's big arrival. After our 36 Week ultrasound we found out that our little Jude is breech. He is happily head up and booty down and he did not want to be turned all around! So, we have a big day scheduled this Wednesday, May 26 @ 12 p.m. to meet our little boy through a c-section. Part of me is really disappointed about having a c-section, however I am relieved to know that he is breech now instead of laboring and finding out at the last minute. The only worry I have is going into labor before the 26th and freaking out about having an emergency c-section. However, since it's now only 3 days away, I'm starting to worry less.

My Mom and Martin's parents will be here Wednesday for the big event and so that worked out quite well too. Yesterday was my last "official" day at work, though knowing me I'll probably end up doing a little lite e-mail checking and such just to make sure things are going ok at the office. Martin and I spent most of today getting the house ready for company and Jude's home arrival. We still need to get the spare room cleaned up, hang up the laundry and do some vacuuming and mopping, but other than that the house is ready to go! Tomorrow will be spent finishing up these last few things, writing two stories I have out that I have put off way too long, and watching the season finale of LOST!

Next update will have photos from Jude's arrival!

The Baby Boom Continues, + Working on the Nursery (34 weeks + 5 Days)

Baby Boom #2:

It's a little late to announce but we are so excited that Landon is finally here for the Abbott's! Annie & Billy are wonderful parents and Landon is just the sweetest little one ever! We got to see him just a few days after he was born. We brought Sawyer along with us to see how he would react to a newborn and he seemed to be interested but not overly hyper, so I was very excited about that! Here is a photo of the sweet little one! Congrats to Annie & Billy on a beautiful baby boy! Also, I just want to shout out to Kara & Ben on the birth of Sarah! She's gorgeous and Kara has done an amazing job at posting photos of little Sarah, weekly even! : )

Working on the Nursery:

Martin put all the stars up on the wall from the decals we have gotten as baby gifts! I absolutely love them! They look SO good. We still need a few more items but we have TWO showers this weekend so hopefully we will be able to get a few more things and then we can head off to Babies R Us and Target to pick up the rest on Sunday night! I'm ready to get the nursery finished. I feel like I have been nesting quite a bit the past few days. I've been spending a lot of time organizing and trying to get the house in order! I hope it stays this way before Jude comes because right now it's looking pretty darn good! As for the photo ... so I'm huge! You can't talk me out of it or tell me I look good. But, people want to see what the bump looks like ... it's no longer a bump it's a basketball (Martin even tried to grip it that way!)

Childbirth 101:

What can I say? We spent the entire Saturday trying to learn how to have this kid, but in reality nothing that is on a slide-show is going to prepare us I don't think. It's going to happen whether I know how to breath or not! : ) But, I'm glad we went I think it made Martin feel a bit more prepared. When they had us get into groups of how prepared we were from 1-5 (5 being most prepared) Martin was a 3 and I was a 4. So I think we are going to be just fine!

I'll try to blog more in the next few weeks before Jude is due! I know I haven't been the best at blogging but it's hard to manage keeping up here with school (3 weeks until finals!) and work! Be looking for more once Jude gets here! I'll try to post pictures as often as I can!

Baby Showers, Blood Pressure and More (31 + 2 days)

Baby Shower
So in March I went home to Arkansas for a family/church shower at First United Methodist Church. Martin wasn't able to come because he is saving all his time for when Jude gets here but I still had a great time! We got so many great things. Homemade blankets from several family and friends, clothes galore, a homemade cradle from my Mom and Brad and the bedding set for the crib from Nick & Kay (Martin's Parents).

While I was away my mom got with Martin secretly and also bought us a crib, so Martin put it together over the weekend. It was a very quick trip, I flew out Saturday and back to Florida on Monday. But, it was well worth it! I can't even tell you how excited I was to see everyone and we are SO thankful for all the great gifts baby Jude received.

Blood Pressure
Maybe it was all the excitement of travel or maybe it was just being pregnant but we had a little blood pressure scare last week when it decided to go up quickly and cause me to feel like total crap. I went home from work and my boss recommended I stop by Publix and check my BP just to be safe. It was 151/96 ... scared the crap out of me! So I called my doc and she told me to come on into the triage department of the hospital to just check things out. So, I called Martin and he met me there. I was a little afraid that we were going to meet Jude a little too soon, but not that worried. I was more afraid of being put on bedrest for the next 8 weeks. But, I guess I just needed some rest because we stayed for about 45 minutes and it went back down to 116/73 so I was fine. Who knows what brought that on?

More Stuff
It's really crazy that I have just 8 weeks to go before Baby Jude gets here. There is still so much to sort out. We have two more showers planned for the first weekend in May. I think after that we can finally get the nursery ready to go! We have gotten a lot of great stuff already, but we still need a lot more! We have almost gotten the backyard finished, which will be so great to have done before Jude gets here so that I can let Sawyer the pup out during the day instead of having to walk him, he can play in his huge, fenced in, backyard. Sawyer already loves to lay in the grass out there, so I know he will love being off his leash and able to run and play! Martin and I are really getting excited to meet Baby Jude and we can't wait for him to get here. We did get some good news regarding our hospital stay. Because I'm in the ordination process and Florida Hospital is a religious organization, I get 50% off my deductible! This was a huge gift, and I am so relieved! It is saving us $500 and it means more money to use to get ready for Jude!

Well, that's about it for now. I'll try to update more, it's just by the time I get home from work I am so tired that I never feel much like writing. :)

Happy Easter everyone!

The Baby Boom has begun ...

Several of my nearest and dearest friends are pregnant right now along with me. Which has been amazing to be able to call and talk to them about plans/aches and pains/whatever in the last few months. We have been separated out by just a few weeks between each friend, so it's been neat to follow everyone's progression.

Well, the first of those friends, Ms. Shannon Slatton Schwatz, had her precious little one last night! At 12:45 a.m. I got a text message from the proud daddy (Dave) that Jack William came into the world kicking and screaming on March 8, 2010 at 10:53 pm. He weighed 6 lbs and 15 oz and is 20 1/2 inches long. Congrats to Shannon and Dave, they are wonderful, wonderful people and will have so much fun being parents! The best part is that they weren't finding out what they were having, so it was a double surprise to hear that we have another boy in the ranks!

Now ... up next is Annie and her little Landon (due April 10), then me and Jude, then Whitney (due July 12) with Henry. Following us all is my little sister Becky (due Sept. 12 or so) and then Jenny who hasn't found out her due date yet but she's thinking late Oct. early Nov. I have one other friend who is on the baby-trying wagon so we'll see if I get to add her name to the list soon! : )

Yay for babies, and congrats again to Shannon & Dave!

Whirlwind, 26 Weeks + 6 Days (27 Weeks)

There is a reason this blog is called Seven Tornadoes, it's because life for me is often swirling around and I'm just grasping to hold on to the baseboards of the home I've made for myself and my little family. To say things have not slowed down would be an understatement.

The first tornado is my life right now is our backyard. When we moved into our house in Sept. 2008 we knew that eventually we would do some work in our backyard, but didn't know what we wanted to happen. We couldn't decide if we wanted a backporch and leave the swampy, woodsy divide between our house and the land behind us or to clear our entire backyard of said swamp, sod the area, put up a privacy fence and have a large backyard. We decided on making a backyard for the house because we really wanted a large fenced in backyard for Sawyer (the pup) and Jude (the babe) to play in while Jude is growing up. Also, there was no place for a swing-set or anything like that back there, and though there is a park about 2 miles down the road, it'll be nice to have play area in the back too. But, of course, as soon as we started the project it started raining in Florida. Been cold and dry for weeks ... now rain. We wanted to get it done before late spring because we want the grass to not die when we plant it, so we started early, but now my backyard is a HUGE mudpit. We have a large dirt pile sitting in our front yard, which the neighborhood kids have taken to sliding down and trying to ramp with their bicycles, and construction equipment littered around the lawn. It's a huge mess! A nice mess, mind you, but not pretty at all.

Second and third tornadoes? Family stuff and work stuff. Both, who I don't like to talk too much about in my blog, have been stressful and full of uncertainty in the last few weeks, and it has taken a lot of prayers and support from my amazing husband to get through everything. It looks like the family stuff is going to calm down a bit, but as for work ... we'll have to wait it out a little while longer to see if that fixes itself.

Fourth tornado? School ... this is my last semester and I've got lots of books to read and papers to write and I know that I'll get through it, but when I look at the mountain of work ahead of me I want to scream. Not to mention that I have until April 1 to finish ALL my paperwork for my upcoming meeting for ordination ... let's hope I can get things done today and get caught up so I can spend some time writing in the upcoming weeks and get things taken care of!

In the whirlwind those are the things that are spinning around me. Pregnancy wise everything is going fine. Last doctor's appointment went very well with just a quick visit and I have my glucose test Friday after next. Jude kicks a lot now, early morning, lunch-time, snack-time, dinner, my kid likes meal time, and doesn't appreciate waiting! I'm feeling pretty good and actually getting sleep, which I'm so thankful for! Tomorrow starts the beginning of my "28th" week according to one calculation which means I'm starting the third trimester. Martin and I have several baby classes coming up and I look forward to all the fun stuff we are going to learn together. We already went to "Fido meets the New Baby," and learned a lot of tools that we are using on Sawyer to get him ready. We were planning to start Childbirth 101 tonight but I had to reschedule to a one-day intensive class so that will be later on in April. We also have a baby shower happening in Arkansas next weekend which I'm going to get to go home for but Martin is going to have to stay behind and work. :( We also need to work on planning the Florida showers, which I need to get moving on!

So, overall, even though the room is still spinning, I know we are going to make it through. I'm looking forward to the next few months spending time with my husband before our world gets turned upside down from not only a tornado, but I'm predicting Jude is going to be a little hurricane! :)

The Baby Bump ...

Here is a photo for all those folks out there who have been asking!

Ugh!— 23 + 2 Days

So, I have said that I wasn't going to post too many negative things on the blog regarding pregnancy. But, after talking with a couple of friends I have been convinced that I'm not exactly being honest if I leave out the bad parts right?

So tonight I am being honest. Being pregnant is not the most wonderful feeling on the Earth! I am tired all the time, my emotions range from happy to sad to pissed in less than a five minute time span, and at the present moment I just feel completely unhappy with the world. I feel fat, my face is broke-out, my hair constantly looks greasy, and I really just want to break something. I know part of this has to do with the fact that I had a pretty stressful week, on top of my work schedule I had a meeting every single night, and I am working tomorrow. I'm upset right now because I really wanted to go out to eat tonight and Martin pretty much shot that down because he's on a diet. Which, I think it's great that he's trying to get healthy before the baby, but it sure doesn't make life easier as a pregnant woman. I rarely want to go out and the one night that I actually felt like going out on a relaxing date, I just felt completely shot down. I highly doubt this was my husband's intention, but that's all I can hear in my crazy hormonal head. I'm just overwhelmed right now, and I'm disappointed that I couldn't have a "I feel great" pregnancy. I know those exist, I know women who felt pretty darn good during their pregnancies and can't wait to get pregnant again ... I just feel like I'm stuck in "no fun land."

I don't want to sound like a total drag, so I'll try to stop venting. In happy news my kid kicks all the time now, but I'm even a little frustrated with that because he is SUPER active. Sometimes I double over from the kick, I think he must be taking kickboxing in there or something. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty darn cool. But it also keeps me from getting comfortable or even sleeping and that's hard. Last night I actually got 6 hours of sleep and I was proud of that ... Didn't I hear somewhere that pregnant women need 9-12 hours ... not likely!

So there, the downsides of pregnancy. I feel alone. I feel overwhelmed. I'm hungry but don't want to eat. I would like to cry about it, then I just feel guilty because I'm not supposed to feel this way! It makes me think crazy things, like that I would like to quit my job and be a stay at home mom, which, if you know me at all, is not something that I could ever imagine myself being happy doing (No offense to all those SAHM's out there, you rock and I'm glad it works for you, but I know myself, and I know I wouldn't be good at it). I think some of that feeling is simply because I learned child-care is going to be super expensive and that's pretty stressful.

Isn't it fun to hear what's in the crazy fat pregnant lady's head?

It's a Boy!

There you have it! Baby Downey is a boy and now everything seems a bit more real! : ) Martin is so excited, and I'm getting used to the idea. It was quite a shock to me, but it figures I would be the first woman in my family to have a boy first! The first thing I said to Martin was, "Well, I guess we'll be having another one!" I'll have a lot to learn with a boy and I'm pretty nervous about it all, but I'm excited to venture into the world of boyhood! :)

20 Weeks + 4 Days (Halfway there and OAMC)

So, we've made it to middle ground on this baby thing! It's hard to believe that I am halfway through this pregnancy and in just 20 more weeks Baby Downey will be here. According to the latest reports the baby is about the size of a Cantaloupe, which is actually pretty darn big. I have been feeling "Juicy" (Martin's nickname for Lucy/Jude until we know the sex) move around quite a bit, but it's still not hard enough that anyone else can feel it from the outside. Though I think the dog may can hear the baby because he will sit his little head on my belly and then I'll feel the baby move and Sawyer will look up at me with this little confused face ... like "What the crap was that?" It's super cute. I appreciate that Sawyer has taken to sleeping more. It works out well with me because I get home from work and need a nap and he's more than happy to snuggle up with me, maybe it's the colder weather we've had lately, but he's not doing his crazy hyper thing, and I'm relieved because I think I would be way too tired to pull that off right now.

Last Sunday my friend Jenny and I started our plan to do "Once a Month Cooking." We found a great website, Once a Month Mom, where she gives you a set menu, instructions, and plan for each month. The website suggested that we would need to set aside 8-12 hours to cook a months worth of meals (15 recipes all together for breakfast, lunch and dinner). Obviously this is not 30 meals, but you take in account left-overs, eating out, and dinner with friends, and you come up with needing about half the months menus already prepared. Jenny got to the house around 1 p.m. on Sunday and we sorted out all the ingredients and printed all the instructions (Jenny and I had shopped already, picking up things all week, with Jenny picking up most things and then having me look for hard to find items near me). The instructions split us into person "A" and person "B." Which seemed fine at first until we realized that person "A" had a lot more responsibilities. So, we grabbed Martin and had him do all the chopping and storing which helped a lot. We finished up around 11 p.m. that night! It was craziness! We were on our feet most of the time and washed dishes about a million times, but by the time Jenny left there were 15 meals in my freezer, and my kitchen was clean! The funniest part was when we ordered pizza and the pizza delivery lady asked, "Are you baking cookies or something, your house smells so good." I then had to explain to this girl that I was cooking for the whole month, but didn't feel like cooking dinner for the night, hence the pizza! Jenny and I will probably do this again next month, but I feel like we will do a lot more prep work before we get started. I don't think I could spend 10 hours on my feet again, but am looking forward to making more meals to last the month (just with more breaks)!

So, that's about it for now. There will be an update tomorrow regarding "who" Baby Downey is ... I'm ready to know a bit more about my dear little "Juicy."

Update you all tomorrow!

My New Year's Initiative — 18 Weeks, + 6 days

see more Funny Graphs

It's a new year and most people spend this time reflecting on their past year and trying to decide what they are going to do better or differently in the new year. Most folks call this their "New Year's Resolution." They RESOLVE that they will make a change, that from that moment on they will lose weight, or exercise more, or stop smoking ... they make a statement. I don't believe in Resolutions. I think they are a lot of talk and no action. I can sit on my comfy couch and announce to the world that I will be thin, healthy, and athletic, but until I get up and DO something, I am just blowing hot air.

That's why this year I have instituted what I am calling my "New Year's Initiative." An initiative is a little different from a resolution because it requires more than just the first step, it is more than just making a statement or decision, it involves the second step ... actual follow-through. So, instead of resolving to do something, I've gone ahead and just did it.

In a little over 20 weeks (give or take) our baby will be here. It will be new and different and exciting ... but it will also be scary. The baby will demand more time of me than I have to offer, and I will have to oblige, because the baby comes first. So, this year I am taking steps to be more efficient, by carving out my time very carefully. I love my job, but when the choice comes between working or going home to be with my husband, I will choose home. I realize that I will not always have a choice, sometimes work can be like that, but on the days when I make the decision to stay or go ... I go. This applies to school too. I am not taking any courses that aren't required of me, even though I want to take the Technology and Ministry course because I know it will be super easy and it will pad my GPA (I have to make a blog as my final project ... um, yeah). I will not sign up for it, because that's wasted time away from my family. So what if I won't have an amazing GPA when I graduate, I'll have a pretty decent one (still Cum Laude I hope) and would have spent more time with my husband perfecting our marriage, which seems a little more important to me than the sticker on my degree.

Finally, I'm doing more things for me. I will visit the library once a week (and have been) and check out at least two or three cheesy quick read novels or intense nonfiction book to read. I can usually get through one of those in a night or two, and it's important for me to read. I love to read, and I deserve to read more than just my homework books. Carving time out for me will make me a better wife and mother, and I need to do a good job of teaching myself that now. I will not work myself into the ground and then come home and try to be superwoman. If there is anything that being pregnant has taught me it's that I can't "do it all." What's surprising is that I'm okay with that. I know there are plenty of feminists out there shaking their fist and declaring me a traitor for that statement, but really what woman do you know who truly does it all? I still plan to work full-time, I still plan to be a mother to my child, I still plan to be ordained and become a "woman preacher." I think I'm okay with the feminist movement here, but what I'm saying is that I have a choice of where I set my boundaries, and at the end of the day my choice will always be with my family. My husband, my child, my health, comes before anything else on my agenda, and that will be my focus for not only 2010, but for the rest of my life.

I am not ashamed to say that I have stepped back and evaluated and have decided that my needs and my family's needs come before everything else. It's a growth process, and I had to learn how much I could give, before I could learn how much I could take back. So, that's my initiative, to evaluate each circumstance and ask myself, "who benefits from this decision, and what are the pros/cons of making this choice?"

I hope that each one of you will have a prosperous new year and will also take a look at your own lives. What can you cut back, move around, make better so that you can give your time and energy to whatever it is that makes you the most happy?

Upcoming Blogs:

Will Baby Downey give us a peep show? Find out on 1/18/09!

The Love Dare — Martin and I received it as a gift. I have my opinions on it already but I'm trying to give it a fair shake for the sake of the great friend who got it for us!

14 + 5 Days & Christmas

Not too much to report, but I wanted to do a quick update before I started this very, very busy week! I'm feeling a bit better. I think the neasuea is finally beginning to wear off and we are finally getting into the happy "honeymoon" trimester! I have gotten back a bit of energy, which is also good because I have quite a bit of homework to finish up this semester and work is, as always, busy as ever!

Martin and I did our 12 days shopping last night and debated if we should keep the tradition going once there is a child in the picture. We've been doing 12 days gifts for seven years, and to me it seems a shame to not continue it on with our kid. When people find out we give each other 12 presents (plus a large gift on Christmas day) I think they think we are a bit extravagant when it comes to Christmas, but there are a few things about 12 days that I think makes it special:

1. It's the best time to buy Martin socks, underwear, and tees and wrap them up as presents! As a wife I don't pick these items up for my husband and he always forgets. So, at least during 12 days I can get him some practical items that aren't necessarily fun, but needed. I usually buy him these items every year (at least since we've been married).

2. We aren't allowed to spend over $20 on any present. Martin is great about sticking to this rule, me, not so much. I did pretty good this year and only went over my limit once, but it's fun to limit ourselves so we have to think outside the box when purchasing gifts.

3. It's something to look forward to every night. As a kid I used to talk my mom into letting us open one present on Christmas Eve, EVE! I love to open presents, even if it is a pair of socks, so by doing it daily up to Christmas makes it super fun. We usually open presents right at midnight which means I have to stay up late ... and sometimes that's a challenge but it's worth the fun. Now, when we start doing this with a kid we might have to change the rule on that ... but for now when midnight gets here we will be opening presents.

So, for me, it's become a very special tradition and I really think that we can incorporate a kid into the picture without them getting too spoiled. I think Martin and I will have to set some limits (not too many toys or candy) and focus on more of the practical side of things for the kid, but I think we should keep it going!

What about you? Do you have any special traditions you share with your children? Do you think we will be spoiling our kid by buying them 12 gifts? Are we spoiling ourselves? Thoughts anyone?

13 Weeks, 5 Days -- Optimus Prime Baby

So, I know I've not been the best on updating. I'm trying to at least update from each doctor's appointment to keep everyone updated, but to be honest I didn't want to update the last few weeks because I've just felt *ugh!*

The morning sickness has been overwhelming at times, but I have found the amazing medication Zofran. I know, I know, medication is bad and all that, but I figure that my doctor approves it and it helps me function, so I'm going for it. It makes me feel SO much better. Without it I had a hard time even going into work, going to church, or doing anything except hunching over the nearest john. At least now, it eases the queasiness to the point where I can function as a human being. Thankfully I have been feeling much better and have gotten down to just taking the medication every other day, so that's a relief. My doc (and everyone else) says that I should be getting to more good days than bad in the next few days, so I'm looking forward to that.

Other than the morning (all-day) sickness, I've felt pretty good. A few icky moments, but overall I've been okay. Last Wednesday marked the end of my first trimester and now we are four months into growing this little one. With that came another doctor's appointment and a new ultrasound.

Today's appointment was amazing. I wish that everyone could have been there to see how much Baby Downey likes to move and suck her thumb! When we first put the wand on my tummy Baby was chewing on her little hand and looking up, when we moved the wand around to get a better view she moved her hand so quickly that Martin said it looked like a karate chop! This made me start laughing and that just made her even more excited so she started squirming and moving around with my laughter! It was really great. For the past U/S the baby has really just been a little blob, just a little black dot, now she has features ... little eyes, a nose, hands, a big pot belly (well, she just fits in!). We could not tell the sex of the baby yet and it looks like it will be late January before we find that out! I really enjoyed my appointment today even though they took four vials of blood (yuck!). There are two photos for you this time. One without photoshopped arrows to tell you what's what and one with ... Martin thinks the baby looks like Optimus Prime from Transformers right now! : )

As for names I decided against the poll. We have made a decision and I don't think anyone can change our mind. Our names are: Lucy Delilah and Jude Wesley. Don't tell me if you hate them, don't even make a face. I'd appreciate if you would just lie to me ... Thanks! :)

Nursery theme is getting started. I know some of you have asked about my aversion to Noah's Ark. Well, it simply comes down to Theology for me. When I read about Noah, I don't excactly feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Noah was the ONLY good man on the whole Earth and God was tired of mankind ... so he decided to start over. Why would I want my child to sleep with the animals going onto the boat when the story represents God saying ... "Nope, this didn't work, let's start over." Now, I could go with the animals getting OFF the boat and the rainbow and the promise of a new covenant ... but that just seems too complicated for me. I know, I'm completely neurotic, but really I want my kid to be surrounded by all the goodness of God. So, we've decided on a theme around Van Gogh's Starry Night. The painting because it represents the creativity of God through the stars (and the talent he gave Van Gogh, no doubt!) and the creation of the universe. We are planning to put stars on the ceiling and decorate around the night sky. I'm super excited about this theme and look forward to getting it done. Martin has gotten started on the room by surprising me a few weeks back when I went home for a friend's wedding by painting a wall dark blue, and I love it!

Other than that we had a great time going home for Thanksgiving but it always feels like we don't have enough time. We look forward to getting the house ready for Christmas and having some more time to spend with family over the Christmas holiday. Personally, I'm looking forward to feeling little Lucy or Jude move around in my tummy ... I'll promise to try to be a good writer when that happens and explain it for you all!

Till next time!

10 + 3 Days ...

So, it's been five weeks since the last update. Sorry for that! Work and life have been pretty crazy! But, we had another ultrasound and everything is going great! The baby is growing leaps and bounds! Things were going pretty well for me with morning sickness until I flew home to Arkansas, then the worst happened. I got sick on the plane ... and basically haven't felt better since. I know it's a good sign that the baby is growing, but it's been a difficult 3-4 weeks. So, there's the health update. But, I have lots of other updates for you from last time:

1. Baby Names (maybe we'll have a poll?)
Okay, so a poll sounds good. So we are working on baby names that we like and will get those up here for you soon. I just haven't decided if I want to wait until we know the sex to have the poll or do it while it's still unknown. Weigh in if you like in the comments.

2. Baby Nursery Theology (Why Noah's Ark is a BAD idea)
This post is still coming ... so don't worry. I want to finish up the theme that we ARE doing before going into why I ruled out so many others.

3. Ultrasound photos! (Coming 10/12!!)
A little late, but there it is up there at 8 weeks. We have another scheduled in a few weeks, right after our second trip to Arkansas.

4. Mary's results from Race from the Taste 10k
Finally, photos from this event as well. Ironically, I did not have to walk this race alone. Whit's husband Graham was injured and he walked with me and we are proud to say that we MADE it! In fact I think we at least beat 50 people! :) Six miles was never easy for me, but I was really afraid to get my heart rate over 140, but I'm pretty sure I did. I did manage to run the first mile but then slowed down so slow that Graham caught up with me and we walked the last 5 together. I felt bad for Graham, who has done half-marathons in less time than we did six miles, but it was still a fun experience.

So, that's it for now, I know it's a quick post. But we have a lot going on.

Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow!

*I want to just put something out there before I go into this blog. Martin and I tried for seven months to get pregnant. During that time I was pretty emotional and weepy when each time I would take a pregnancy test and it would come back negative. Each time I knew I wasn't pregnant AGAIN, I was upset and found it really hard to read/hear stories of other people's baby-making success. I was REALLY happy for them, it was just hard on me because I felt like I was being left out of the baby loop! So, I'm being honest with my readers. If you have been trying and things aren't working out, it's okay with me if you are a little annoyed with me right now. I do want to celebrate, but I don't want to upset anyone. So, I'm acknowledging the feelings that I had, in hopes that, if you are reading this and you feel the deep pit in your stomach sink in a bit more, I want you to know I understand. Also, I'm taking this blog to a new level and it may be too much information for some. I'm not modest (never have been) but I'm just warning folks who may be because I plan to go into the details of being pregnant in the next nine months! So be prepared! : )

I'm Pregnant! (Five Weeks, or 4 Weeks +3 Days)

Wooo Hooo! It's been seven long months of trying, and one dose of Femara (a breast Cancer drug that is also good for PCOS and jump-starting ovulation) and the test read yes! So, now we start the journey of pregnancy. And, I want to at least blog about it once a month so I can journal this important and exciting time. I had a couple of friends who blogged through their pregnancies and they were great, so I hope that my posts can live up to theirs.

The Background Story

So, what's first? I guess the story. I had been charting and watching very closely my cycle for the last few months, and things were not adding up the way the should. So, I called my doctor and got an appointment on Aug. 12. He talked to me for a bit, and at first wanted me to keep trying for a year, but once I showed him my charts and had proof that things were not happening the way they should, he reconsidered. I am forever thankful to Cara for teaching me how to chart, it saved me six months of waiting! So, anyway, we discussed it and he decided that I needed a "jump-start." So, at the beginning of my next cycle I started the Femara. I have to tell you it was tough! I only had to take the pill for five days, but it did make me very emotional and moody. However, after the five days were over I was fine. So, the month progressed and we hoped and prayed that this would be it.

Taking the Test

I first starting testing on day 8 after ovulation, they tell you to wait until 10, but since my cycles had been short, I thought I might get lucky. I didn't. It was negative. Day 10 came and I tested again, and it was negative as well. So, I did what any other normal woman would do. I gave up! However, I didn't feel that great all day of Day 10, and people around me were noticing that I was very short of breath! I also spotted a bit, so I was convinced that I was just going to start soon, and that this round of Femara had not worked. So, Day 11 I woke up and decided, Why not?, I'll take the test again today (since I had stopped spotting) and if it's negative then I'll know I was about to start. Besides, I sort of think it's fun to pee on a stick. I know, I'm crazy, but I think it goes back to when I was in Chemistry and we could dip those little sticks in different liquids to see what color they were and how acidic they were ... I loved to watch them change colors, same principal, I guess it's just weirder because we never stuck those in pee. ANYWAY, so I took the test and then went about my morning. I'm not one for counting down the minutes on the clock. So, I took Sawyer out for his morning walk, I made a little breakfast, I lazed around for a few minutes, and I'm pretty sure at one point I said OUT LOUD, to myself, "There is no way that test is going to be positive." That was right before I walked into the bathroom and saw the word "pregnant" on the screen.

Telling Martin

I did a horrible job of telling Martin. I always had dreams of thinking of something creative and cute. Maybe I'd write some long love-letter about how we had made this precious thing together, or get him a T-shirt that said "World's Greatest Dad." What did I do instead? Run into the other bathroom where he was showering and yell, "I was wrong, I'm pregnant." Which I got in response, "HUH?" Then I proceed to repeat myself, pull yesterday's "Not Pregnant" stick out of the trash and show him the difference between the two (as if just seeing the "pregnant" was not enough, I know CRAZY), while the poor man is still trying to shower. Yeah, I could have done that better. The worst part too, was that he had no time to really digest it because he was getting ready for work and was working on a HUGE project, so in hindsight, I wish I had told him differently, but hey, at least he knows! And, now he is super excited and happy, so it worked out okay in the end. As for everyone else, I, of course, called my Mom and my sisters (Oddly enough, my little sister Becky found out she was pregnant the day before I did, so we have the same approximate due date). I called closest friends and told them the news and then decided later that night to just put it on Facebook so that we could share with everyone. I know it's still early, but I've never been one to live in fear so I'm not too worried about anything happening.

What's next?

So, I've been to the doctor twice. Once for blood work and once for a question and answer session. I really like my doctor and he's very open with me, which I appreciate. We have an ultrasound date for 10/12, which was the earliest possible date we could do one and see the baby. The doctor wants to watch me closely and make sure everything is going smoothly, but he seems to be very confidant that things will be fine. I can already tell a HUGH difference in my body. It's so weird! So far I've had shortness of breath, tender breasts, I need to pee quite a bit, sore back, and I'm hungry about every 4-5 hours. I haven't gotten sick yet, so I'm happy for that. One big thing I've noticed is how my body is already changing quite a bit. One big problem is that I can't "suck" in my gut anymore. It hurts to do so. So, I look like I'm six months pregnant when I'm really just one! I used to make fun of little skinny girls going out and buying maternity clothes so early, but now I understand. Nothing really does fit! I already can't wear my black work slacks because they button above the tummy, and it ain't happening! UGH! It's okay, I don't mind the weight gain (Doc says at least 30 lbs) but I just don't want to have to buy a lot of new clothes! The only other thing that I am worried about it doing a six mile run in a few weeks, well, make that walk. My doctor made me buy a heart monitor and HIGHLY suggested the I walk briskly and not run the race. I hope the short bus doesn't pick me up, this is the last year for 'The Race for the Taste' at Disney World and I REALLY want that medal!

So, that's about it. The best part is the day that we found out we realized was the same day that Martin started his job here in Florida and when we got the house ... so there is something special about September. I guess that why God blessed me with seeing a rainbow on the way home on the day we found out (photo above). It was like a special message just to me that said, "See, I was paying attention, all those rainbows before were a promise, and here is another promise to you!" I have been truly blessed, it was not an easy road to get here, but here's to an easy journey here on out full of fun and happiness for Martin, me, and the future baby Downey!